Author Topic: Anyone else following the Kon-Mari decluttering? Or a different system?  (Read 417 times)

Offline Crispycritter

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I wondered if anyone else is following the Kon Mari approach by Marie Kondo?  I watched the series on Netflix and fell in love with it/her.  Also read her book about it and have done most of my house - purged, reorganized & cleaned.  It has made such a difference.  Just the way she says to fold your clothes - I can now open a dresser drawer and see everything!  All together I got rid of about 35 garbage bags of stuff - most went to goodwill.  My home wasn't imo that cluttered - it was only when you opened a closet or went into my basement storage spot that you were in any danger of a landslide.  I haven't had even one item where I felt remorseful afterwards.

What I've found that has also made a big difference is what I don't bring in anymore.  Before if I saw something really cute for the holidays, I would often get it - now, I just admire it in the store and walk away.  I know that in a year or two it won't be something that I'll still want.  And I used to buy something just because it was on sale & could definitely be useful.  No more.  If I don't really need it, I don't buy it. 



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Offline lowspark

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I haven't watched the Netflix show yet but it's on my list. I've been in declutter mode for a while now but going at it rather slowly. I've sold a lot, given away a lot and thrown away a lot but yeah, I still have a lot! On the other hand, I have plenty of room so it's not like I'm bursting at the seams. I have quit buying new stuff for the most part. Haven't bought any new kitchen stuff in years except to replace something that is broken or worn out. I do buy new clothes, though, can't stop that!!

I think that if you begin to feel overwhelmed by your stuff, it's a good idea to get rid of things that are not contributing to your happiness. But for me, if I were to just wholesale get rid of stuff, that would probably cause me more stress than keeping it.

I probably should watch her show just to see if what she advocates would benefit me.
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Offline Crispycritter

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You should!  What I liked about the show and the book was that she didn't go by the "get rid of x-many items today" style of decluttering/purging. I've tried that and it works sort of, but isn't calming or sustainable.   She has a system and an order to go through, and it works.   It isn't the amount of stuff that is the main issue (although that gets pared down - a lot), it is whether or not you are keeping something that you don't even like.  Most of us have that sweater or shirt that we never wear, basically don't like, but yet there it is in our closet.  That sweater would be an example of what would be given away.  I have another sweater that I've never worn in 8 years - but I love it and so it stays (and I'm going to wear it in the fall).  That is the test, does it spark joy?  Then it stays.

I found using her method to be very soothing and also very effective.  What a difference it has made.  I no longer have to put away or get out the next season's clothing.  It all fits and is organized.  Next December - my Christmas sweaters?  bottom cube in my closet. 

Offline Poesie

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Did a lot of decluttering over the last year in prep for some moves (back to mum’s, then hopefully to a new house that’s better for both of  us). Had not read/watched Kondo but did get help from a professional organiser so heard a bit about her. I got rid of heaps of stuff. Still probably have a bit too much but it’s way better organised now so I can access it more easily. Only regretted a few things later - mostly chucking out electrical cords and discovering that - oops - those actually go with something useful that I’m keeping.

Offline lowspark

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OK. I watched about 2/3 of the first episode... and I kinda hated it. That poor couple is overwhelmed by parenting and I don't really think that's going to be solved by dumping everything from their closets and dressers into a big pile and then being pressured to look at every item. You could see how stressed the mom was doing that.

Now, granted, some decluttering is definitely called for, but it's not really going to solve their bigger issues, which are that Mom is having a hard time budgeting her time and energy in the right way to deal with being a mom of two active toddlers, and Dad is putting all the responsibility on Mom since he has the more demanding job.

Dad needs to understand Mom's frustration and help out in some way. Mom needs to recognize what is working for her and what is not and what she needs Dad to step up and help with. Sometimes, it just takes having your mate help with one thing to make you feel understood, appreciated, supported, etc. She's currently NOT feeling that way.

I didn't finish the episode so I don't know what the conclusion was, but I was cringing throughout at the situation which I don't think decluttering is going to solve.

On another note, I was annoyed by the fact that Marie can and does speak English when she wants to, and then reverts to her native language and an interpreter. I found that to be distracting and unnecessary.

OK. One more thing. When I find a task to be large enough to be overwhelming, my best method is to tackle it a small amount at a time. So to clean out my closet, I might look through 10 items a day, or 20 or whatever, so that I'm feeling like I'm taking small bites. If I were to dump every item of clothing I own onto my bed, and then not be able to rest until I went through everything, 95% of it would most likely all just go right back in and I'd be completely exhausted simply from taking it out, seeing it all there in a seemingly insurmountable pile, and then putting it back in.

I get the philosophy but I vehemently disagree with the method.
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Offline Crispycritter

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Definitely not for everyone, but I'd say to watch the rest of that episode and see the overwhelming thank you's the homeowner's give.  I forget which family was the first one - but all of them were truly grateful in the end.   There was one family with a couple of kids whose home had my shoulders up to my ears - they reminded me too much of me!!

I had written out a lot more, but deleted it because it isn't for everyone!!  That's ok!! 

Offline lowspark

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I finished watching the episode last night. It's the one called "Tidying With Toddlers." So yes, at the end, they are apparently very happy with the results and thanking Marie.

I would be very interested to revisit this family in one year. Will they still be living as sparsely as they are now? Is Mom still making her and the kids' beds every day? Is her kitchen still neat and tidy with nary a dirty dish in sight? Is the garage still as organized with no new clutter? Are the kids' belongings still all neatly put away, especially considering that as they grow, the acquire new toys and clothes? And as they outgrow the old, will she continue to be vigilant about getting rid of things they no longer need?

And yes, at the end of the episode, it looks like Dad did step up to help with some household chores. But again, I question how long that will last after the novelty wears off. There are going to be days when things get overwhelming. It's inevitable when you have little kids. And when that happens, it's easy to let those new habits lapse for a day, or for a week. The real test will be if after that lapse, will the family still go back to these new ideals? Will it be easy for Dad to forgive Mom for not keeping the house 100% tidy if he comes home from work and finds that she's had a bad day? And even more important, will he step up to fill the gap when those days occur?

I dunno. I can see that I'm being hyper critical. It's just that these kinds of shows have everyone falling in step and everything is going to be hunky dory, which of course, for the purpose of the shooting, it will be! But after the cameras stop rolling, it's a lot harder for the family to keep up that pace.

There is no doubt that this family will continue to acquire new things. They are a young family with young children. I didn't really see any strategy for dealing with that. And again, underlying all of this is the expectation by Dad that because his job is more demanding, the lion's share of responsibility falls on Mom, and she, while seeing some temporary relief, is still, IMO, going to be feeling inundated.

She may have found that laundry is now manageable, but I maintain that since she hates doing laundry, that too will get old. But she has now fired her helper who used to do that task for her.
Having the kitchen organized is a huge help, but at the end of the day, when dinner's done, she still has to do the dishes.
Making the kids' beds and putting their toys all away is great, but you know, toddlers will still want to get them all out again to play, and they will all need to be put back away. Pretty much every day. At least, that was my experience when my kids were that age.

In other words, having everything organized is wonderful, but it doesn't stay that way. It's great to have everything have a place, but it's still a never ending battle to keep everything in that place, or I should say, to return everything to that place after it gets used.

Again, I might be way off base! Which is why I'd like to see that family a year later.
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Offline STiG

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I haven't seen the show but I have seen and read snippets about her methods.

While getting the home in order is a big help, it doesn't address the underlying issues.

Making my bed every day is just never going to happen.  I actually prefer to leave it unmade and let it air out.  The only time it gets made is when I change the sheets.  Is it nice to get into a freshly made bed?  Absolutely.  But that's a couple minutes I just don't have in the morning.  I'm not getting up any earlier; I'm already up too early as it is.

I will say, though, having all the dishes done at the end of the evening, even if they are sitting in the drying rack, does make me feel better.  I normally don't do them every night - we have a dishwasher so there are only a few things that need handwashing.  But we have an ant infestation right now so I'm doing them each night and feel a lot better in the morning, getting up to a clear kitchen counter.

There are things that don't bring joy but you have to keep them.  Like income tax records.   :P  We can be audited up to 6 years back, including the current year, so you have to keep some records.

Offline lowspark

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Yes. The underlying issues.

Some people are going to be organized and have everything put away, at least most of the time, regardless of how much stuff they own. Some people can own very little, and still have a messy dwelling.

Now, getting your stuff organized definitely helps. I do like her folding/storing method of making everything stand up so that it's all visible when you open the drawer. But again, your inventory is not static. So this method is not a one-time thing. It's an ongoing effort.

Now, that is not to say that the couple in the show will not be able to maintain that effort. Maybe this exercise was exactly the impetus they needed to help them make that commitment. I just know that it's not easy to go from experiencing paralysis due to feeling overwhelmed to consistently being diligently organized and orderly.
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Offline Crispycritter

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Organizing stuff is the least important aspect of her methods.  In her book she tells about her different attempts to organize her stuff.  Stuff is the issue.   Actually - I should say stuff you don't even like is the issue.




Offline lowspark

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Ah yes. I do know that since that IS what is always referred to when mentioning her. And she did definitely emphasize "spark joy" and getting rid of a lot of stuff. But in the end, I did come away, apparently subconsciously, with the concept that her lesson was all about organizing the stuff that they kept. Maybe because of the amount of time in the episode that was devoted to how to fold clothes and how to organize the kitchen. And again, I feel like a couple with toddlers is inevitably going to collect more stuff as time goes on.

Like I said, I would love to see this couple a year later and find out if they are able to maintain the mantra of not bringing in more stuff and of getting rid of things they no longer need or want. But more importantly, I would like to know if the stress they were experiencing has been, at least somewhat, ameliorated.
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Offline corgiqueen

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I don’t follow any system per say, but I do declutter a couple of times a year. I live in a 1BR apt, so space is kind of limited, and somehow my possessions seem to creep up and begin to take over! I also sell online, mostly clothing, shoes, bags etc. So when I do my purging, I will sell the “good stuff” and donate the rest, which is still in good shape, but maybe doesn’t have quite enough “value” to make it worth my while to sell.

I’ve gotten pretty good at things over the years. For example, I prefer to read e-books, so I went through all of my printed books, and anything available in e-book format, I got rid of. Same with DVDs. Aside from my Disney and Hitchcock movies, anything available to rent or stream, I donated.

Clothes I usually try and do when seasons change. So when I put my winter stuff away, and bring out the spring and summer, I look at what I’ve worn, or haven’t, what fits, what I’m tired of, and act accordingly.

And during my “off” times, I’ll try and tackle smaller things, like going through socks, undies, dishes etc. on a regular basis.

I've found if I stay on top of things, its generally more manageable

Offline corgiqueen

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OK. I watched about 2/3 of the first episode... and I kinda hated it. That poor couple is overwhelmed by parenting and I don't really think that's going to be solved by dumping everything from their closets and dressers into a big pile and then being pressured to look at every item. You could see how stressed the mom was doing that.

Now, granted, some decluttering is definitely called for, but it's not really going to solve their bigger issues, which are that Mom is having a hard time budgeting her time and energy in the right way to deal with being a mom of two active toddlers, and Dad is putting all the responsibility on Mom since he has the more demanding job.

Dad needs to understand Mom's frustration and help out in some way. Mom needs to recognize what is working for her and what is not and what she needs Dad to step up and help with. Sometimes, it just takes having your mate help with one thing to make you feel understood, appreciated, supported, etc. She's currently NOT feeling that way.

I didn't finish the episode so I don't know what the conclusion was, but I was cringing throughout at the situation which I don't think decluttering is going to solve.

On another note, I was annoyed by the fact that Marie can and does speak English when she wants to, and then reverts to her native language and an interpreter. I found that to be distracting and unnecessary.

OK. One more thing. When I find a task to be large enough to be overwhelming, my best method is to tackle it a small amount at a time. So to clean out my closet, I might look through 10 items a day, or 20 or whatever, so that I'm feeling like I'm taking small bites. If I were to dump every item of clothing I own onto my bed, and then not be able to rest until I went through everything, 95% of it would most likely all just go right back in and I'd be completely exhausted simply from taking it out, seeing it all there in a seemingly insurmountable pile, and then putting it back in.

I get the philosophy but I vehemently disagree with the method.

you go farther in than I did! I do agree with you though; decluttering is not the whole answer here.

And I do the same, when my space gets cluttered, i will do one of two things. Focus on say the coffee table, then something else, OR focus on paper, then kitchen stuff etc.

Offline ginger aka Gellchom

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For those of you who sell stuff on line, how do you do it?

Offline Crispycritter

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For those of you who sell stuff on line, how do you do it?

We do craigslist or ebay and offer the item for whatever we see other similar items priced at.  If nobody responds, we usually pull the item and then relist in a week or so at a lower price (or just relist it).   Things that are too big and not worth much due to condition we put up for free on Craigslist and usually are gone in a day.