Polite Paradise

Yeah, I would also find it odd if someone preferred drinking water from their reusable bottle, to drinking water from my nice glass that matched the rest of the table. It's one thing to have your own water bottle if you're just sitting around casually--like, "No need to dirty one of your glasses for me, I've got my own thing." Or I brought my special electrolyte mix that I need to drink, in my own bottle (though I would probably try to put it down by my chair instead of right on the table). Or even using my resuable bottle instead of the host's disposable cup.

But when it really is just water--and you don't have any pickiness about the actual water source, like my dad does--I think it seems odd to use one's own reusable bottle, rather than the host's reusable glass. Maybe they are thinking that if they don't use the glass, it's one less thing the host has to wash?

Quote from: Lynn2000 on February 18, 2019, 10:30:25 am

Yeah, I would also find it odd if someone preferred drinking water from their reusable bottle, to drinking water from my nice glass that matched the rest of the table. It's one thing to have your own water bottle if you're just sitting around casually--like, "No need to dirty one of your glasses for me, I've got my own thing." Or I brought my special electrolyte mix that I need to drink, in my own bottle (though I would probably try to put it down by my chair instead of right on the table). Or even using my resuable bottle instead of the host's disposable cup.

But when it really is just water--and you don't have any pickiness about the actual water source, like my dad does--I think it seems odd to use one's own reusable bottle, rather than the host's reusable glass. Maybe they are thinking that if they don't use the glass, it's one less thing the host has to wash?

I've done this out of habit, because I drink a lot of water, and usually if the host gives me water it's just a smallish glass, so I pretty much always need/want more. 

I'd never thought of it looking weird on the table, though.  Maybe another way to handle it would be to leave my water bottle in my bag (if I have my bag at the table with me) and drink from it when I need it, rather than leave it on the table?  I'm not sure.

Hmm, that's a good question, because there are people who drink a lot of water for medical/health reasons, and you shouldn't interrupt that, but at the same time, I would want to try and be as discreet/no extra trouble as possible. So I would drink from the host-provided glass first, and when it was empty, switch to my reusable bottle, which I kept OFF the table (possibly pour from it INTO the host-provided glass?). And, it depends on the setup--if the host has to get up and refill glasses, or if guests are expected to get up and do so themselves (I find some people's furniture so heavy, just scooting a chair back to leave the table becomes a production for me), or if there's a pitcher of water on the table already--in each case, I would want to pick the option that made the least work for others, and didn't draw unnecessary attention to myself. I mean, there's no need to be pathological about it, you're just drinking a lot of water, not doing anything bad, but I would just be thinking about how I could do it with the least trouble and attention.

I do find that some people are weird about how much (non-alcoholic) liquid others drink. I was out to lunch with a large family group and my teenage cousin must have gone through seven glasses of water, and his grandmother started teasing him about it. He was just very discreetly drinking it and letting the waiter refill it, so I hadn't even consciously noticed it. I also remember when I was younger and drank a lot of water in groups, and some people, it seems, just can't help but comment on it, even though you're being quiet, not bothering anyone, otherwise perfectly normal. That's the kind of unnecessary remark that can make people self-conscious, I think. So on the other side, as a host, I think I wouldn't comment or draw attention to how much water anyone was drinking, as long as they seemed to be okay. It is probably just their thing and they're trying to manage it.

This is sort of veering off topic but making comments on how much someone else is consuming, whether it be food or drink, whether it be "too much" or "too little" is rude. Period. It's just not anyone else's business what or how much someone else is eating, unless they are that someone else's caregiver.

As to how to handle the question of what to do if you want to drink a lot of water and your host isn't meeting your needs, I guess at that point, the guest has the option to either ask the host for additional accommodation, or to just do it themselves. So you might say to your host, "I drink a lot of water, can I please have a larger glass or a pitcher at the table?" Or you do as you've been doing, Surly, and use your water bottle.

As a host, I'd prefer that the guest give me a chance to supply whatever they need. I might even say, if asked, "Sure, the pitcher is in that cabinet there, can you please grab and fill and put at the table?" As a side note, I always do have a pitcher of water at the table anyway. Sometimes iced tea as well. And quite often, a bottle or two of wine. 

I can't really relate to the comparison of my reusable water bottle with a baby's dirty diaper. 

I get what you mean. I work with a couple of new mums and they’re always talking about snot, or vomit, or poo, and it leaves me thinking - we’re at work! Yuk! I’m not interested! But they’re so used to it they don’t even realise what they’re sharing a lot of the time.