Author Topic: USA Today: Unwritten rules of calling, texting, social media (Read 255 times)

Lynn2000 · « **on:** February 26, 2019, 10:26:25 am »

https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2019/02/22/15-unwritten-rules-calling-texting-and-social-media/2789056002/

Article in USA Today about the unwritten modern rules of calling, texting, and social media use. There's recommendations throughout the article, then an official list of 15 items at the end.

I'm curious what people think of them! I don't do most of the things on the list, so I don't have a reference point. Some of them seem sensible to me--don't deliver bad news by text; don't like your own posts, as that makes you look weird--while others I don't understand, or they seem like more work.

For example, rule #14 is, don't get upset if you don't get a response. But, rule #3 is, if someone comments on your photo, you should respond; rule #7 is, don't take hours to respond without an excuse; rule #15 is, if you have time to do another social media thing that everyone can see, you have time to text me back. So it seems like these rules ARE dictating what I should do with my time, that I MUST respond to people and within a certain time-frame as well... which implies that if I don't, the other person is right to get upset.

And then there's rule #8, you don't have to leave a voice mail. If I get a call from a number I don't know, I don't answer, and I don't call back. The end. If it's someone I know who has a new number or needs to talk to me, they need to leave a voice mail. I DO listen to voice mails. But 90% of my cell phone calls are spam. So I'm not going to be chained to my phone and have to interact MORE with people I don't know, when technology is supposed to allow me to be more independent. Obviously if you run a business or something, and get calls from a lot of clients or vendors you don't know in advance, you have to answer your phone more; but, you would probably also wish those people would leave a voice mail if you can't answer, because how else would you know who they are and what they want? So I really don't get that one.

Airelenaren · « **Reply #1 on:** February 26, 2019, 12:22:37 pm »

Rule 2 is a good idea, but realistically, being too strict about the length ofanswers you expect is unlikely to motivate people to be wordier. I know that with some of my friends, if the one-word answer weren't deemed good enough, they'd just not respond at all anymore. People have different reasons for the ways they communicate, and in the case of aforementioned friends, they are just not very good at talking without a really good prompt. If someone talks to me about a topic I don't know enough about to contribute anything useful, my answers are likely going to be one-worded as well - regardless of how interesting the topic is to me.

I disagree with rule 7. One of the benefits in written communication is the ability to take a step back and think things through (or just wait until I'm in the right mood) before replying. I do not make good choices or even remember things correctly when put on the spot, so if someone expects me to answer them without delay, they might just as well get me drunk first, as my brain's helpfulness will roughly be the same.

I am fine with rule 8. I never leave voice messages myself, and rarely get one from other people. It's more common here to just call again after a while.

Rule 9 adresses one of my greatest annoyances on the internet. Happens a lot, unfortunately, even if I list each point neatly with a number and bolding. No idea why it happens so often or how to prevent it.

I don't see the reasoning behind rule 12. Sure, if there is an active chat going with five or six people, and two of them randomly start ignoring everything around them and just talking between themselves as if nobody else existed, that is rude. But in the group chats I am a part of, there are a lot of dead hours inbetween where nobody really has anything to say or is even online. If Two members happen to have a good topic and both be online during such a time, I don't see a problem in them discussing it one-on-one until somebody else comes in and might also find the topic interesting and add to it.

13) Personally, I prefer both sending and receiving any kind of news via text, mostly due to the problems I explained under rule 7.

15) I guess, technically, this is true. However, if someone takes their time with a response, it's not always necessarily because they don't have time. It might be because they need to discuss with a third party, seek out some information, think of a better way to phrase their response, calm down, or any number of other reasons that don't effect their snapchatting.

lowspark · « **Reply #2 on:** February 26, 2019, 01:02:59 pm »

#2. I find that silly. Sort of like the old "write complete sentences" dictate back in my school days. So if someone asks, "Hey, do you want to ride together to the party on Saturday?" I can't just write, "sure!"? I have to write, "Yes, I want to ride together to the party on Saturday."? Nope.

I do just write, "sure!" and figure that the other person will then respond, "I'll pick you up at 7" or "do you mind driving?" or whatever.

#3. If by "respond" they mean click "like" or answer if it's a question, sure.

#4 is not hard and fast. Say someone calls me and I'm in a situation where I can't answer the phone and have a voice conversation, but I can text. I might text and say "Sorry, I'm in a meeting. I can text if that works." This happens all the time, both with me as the caller and the called. No one bats an eye.

#7. Yeah. I dunno. If I get a text or a tag on Facebook or whatever, I don't really think that means I have to drop everything I'm doing and respond. That's the whole point of electronic communication vs. calling on the phone. You reply at your convenience. Sure, if the message seems urgent, it's courteous to reply asap. But I'm not always even able to look at a message immediately. And sometimes, as Airelenaren said, I need time to formulate a reply.
But yeah, #15. If I've sent a text message that actually does require a reply, and you don't reply, with at least something like, "I'm not sure, can I get back to you?" and then I see you posting on Facebook, it does feel a bit crummy.

#8 I don't talk much on the phone but I almost never leave a voice mail. I'm pretty much calling someone who has my number and if they don't answer, I usually send a text. If I'm contacting someone who doesn't have my number, I send a text first. I just find it easier that way.

#9 Yeah. Major annoyance. I just reply and re-ask the unanswered questions. Whatcha gonna do?

#10. I have one facebook friend who does this. I pretty much NEVER "like" anything that is shared/reposted from another source unless it is some kind of really important (to me) information that I wouldn't have known otherwise. This friend must just post every silly item that comes her way, cat pix, cutesy sayings, religious memes, etc. Even reposting that exact stuff from a year ago, you know, a "memory". Ugh.

#12. Ditto what Airelenaren said.

#13. Current accepted method in my group of friends seems to be email. As in, "Mary's mother died", which the particular group needs to know. But if you're talking something more personal, like "your husband was in a car accident" then yeah, phone call.

#14. Angry? Yeah, probably not. Annoyed? That's more likely.

Polite Paradise

News:

Author Topic: USA Today: Unwritten rules of calling, texting, social media (Read 255 times)

Lynn2000

USA Today: Unwritten rules of calling, texting, social media

Airelenaren

Re: USA Today: Unwritten rules of calling, texting, social media

lowspark

Re: USA Today: Unwritten rules of calling, texting, social media