When I and my cousins were small children, gifts were given by everyone to everyone at the extended family Christmas. So, like, my mom and I would be shopping for gifts for all her nieces and nephews (my cousins), her siblings and their spouses, and her parents. Then we did the same for my dad's side. It was a lot of THINGS but I don't remember it being financially onerous--we would get everyone in the same group the same thing, like all the girl cousins got a sweatshirt of the same style but in different colors. It was when scented bath and lotion sets were becoming a big thing and that was great to give, because we didn't actually know people that well.
You might wonder why we didn't ask for a list. I can't explain why, but it just wasn't the done thing. At best you could ask about clothing sizes or if a small child was interested in anything in particular. So there were a lot of gifts to buy, wrap, transport, and then open, which was festive, but then you ended up with a lot of stuff you didn't really want and had to get rid of later. Probably a good exercise for a child in politely thanking people for a gift you didn't want.
As the cousins of my generation got older, this morphed into drawing names, which was done at Thanksgiving. Like I would have to get a gift for Cousin Mike, and Cousin Sue would be getting one for me.
Gradually this faded away on both sides of my family. I think it was because the family was getting more geographically (and emotionally) distant as the cousins grew up and had families of their own. We all couldn't get together for any holiday and it seemed silly to be buying gifts for someone you didn't know well, and then having to ship them because you wouldn't see them in person ever.
Now both sides have a pretty laid-back approach to gifts. On my mom's side, people still usually get gifts for my grandma, and she might give everyone a little something, perhaps just some cash or a gift card. If there are small children present, there might be gifts for them from some, but not all, relatives--like only whoever thinks of doing it independently, not planned as a group. One year our extended family gathering coincided with the nuclear family gathering for my uncle and his four adult children, so they all had gifts from their father to unwrap, while the rest of us didn't have anything. This is totally fine with us and I think other people are grateful they don't have to guess at buying gifts, or take home stuff they don't want.
On my dad's side, the decision was made many years ago to have "no gifts," but certain people always break that rule, which irritates my mom because she thinks it makes her/my dad look cheap or ungenerous or whatever, when in fact we're just abiding by what the family officially decided. There are usually gifts for small children (my cousins' kids) and one aunt & uncle will usually have a small gift for me and my parents, like one of those "cookie mixes in a jar" or a notice about a charitable donation on our behalf.
So when it comes to my extended family I just don't worry about gifts at all, and if I receive something I just say thank you politely and maybe write them a TY note later. I figure if anyone is mad about not getting a gift in return, they should stop giving gifts to me, and then we will both be content.
I personally only buy gifts for my parents now. For a while there were 3-4 friends I would get gifts for, but that waned over the years as we became more distant or it otherwise just didn't seem necessary. In Love Language terms I am almost 100% gift-focused--I find gifts to be extremely meaningful and affecting. Which is probably why I don't give them to many people, because I don't feel strongly about anyone except my parents. I love wish lists, both of my own desires and from other people.
I do think it's fun to pick out and give gifts, but nowadays I want some indication of what is desired so I don't throw my money away giving someone more junk they don't care about--yet I find that a lot of people are very reticent about saying what they want. I think for some it's modesty/manners, like they think it would be tacky to say, "I would like X" even though I AM ASKING WHAT THEY WANT SO STOP DANCING AROUND. And for others I think it's... is it a power or control thing? Like they think I should just KNOW what they want, even if we've barely spoken for years, and it's part of the "test" or the value of the gift if I make a guess and get it right (which of course is extremely unlikely). Like people who turn their noses up at gift cards--then frickin' TELL ME WHAT OBJECT YOU WANT, because obviously you want SOMETHING, and since I'm not psychic I'd rather give you a gift card than randomly choose an object that you have to either return or dump.