Polite Paradise

Off Topic => Books => Topic started by: GloryAndCrumpets on May 23, 2018, 04:55:59 pm


Title: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: GloryAndCrumpets on May 23, 2018, 04:55:59 pm
Because we've all read that book...you know the one. The one that you hated so much that you just need to warn everybody else off it (and hopefully find a couple other haters in the process). Maybe it was something that one annoying chick in your book group picked out when it was her turn to choose. Maybe it was something you had to read for high school lit class. Maybe it was a best seller everybody else was raving about or maybe it was just something that looked good, dammit, and then it betrayed you! Dish it. Let it out. We're here for all that pent-up book rage.

I'll start...Behind Closed Doors, by B.A. Paris. It sounded like a good, suspenseful domestic thriller where there's a seemingly perfect couple, but something more sinister is going on underneath the facade. But holy bearded Odin on a pogo stick, it was bad. SO. BAD. It was terribly written and ridiculously unbelievable. The main character (I really can't call her a heroine) was infuriatingly stupid and the husband...oh my gosh, Snidely Whiplash would have been a less cartoonish villain. Seriously, this guy marries the main character and then turns to her almost immediately afterwards and basically flat-out says "By the way, I am an evil murderous psychopath and this is my evil plan. Watch me be evil." And that's really not that far off from a direct quote because the dialogue in that book was some of the worst I have ever had the misfortune of reading. The whole way through the book I was just sitting there slack-jawed going "Has this person ever actually had a real conversation? With an actual, real-life human? Nobody talks this way! Nobody in the entire history of the world has ever had a conversation that even remotely resembled this!"

Grrrrr, I still hate myself for finishing it...
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Free Range Hippy Chick on May 23, 2018, 05:33:40 pm
The Monogram Murders by Sophie Hannah. The estate of Agatha Christie apparently gave permission for a Poirot novel. Bet they're regretting it now. The plot is indeed gloriously convoluted, in the approved manner but the motive for the murders? Ludicrous. The secondary detective has nothing to recommend him, either. He's constantly having some sort of existential crisis in which he wonders if anybody cares what he thinks. (Spoiler: no, not a soul. Seriously. Not even me.) He doesn't want to do detection, which is a bit of a drawback for a professional police detective. So basically he doesn't do any.

Fortunately I bought the book in a second hand shop. Now it's gone back to one.

 

Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Winterlight on May 23, 2018, 05:48:39 pm
I just looked that up and apparently Hannah was interviewed and said she had decided not to try to recreate Christie's style. Instead she created an OMC who is apparently the world's most inept police detective. Plus, for a book set in 1929, she's got a poor grasp of the era.

Personally, I'm leery of trying to continue a series after the author is dead- or coauthor in the case of Dick Francis' mysteries. His wife Mary was his coauthor, though this didn't become known till after she died, I believe. His books with Mary were great, the later ones with his son were a grave disappointment. Mary's perspective made the books more three-dimensional characters. I made several attempts to read the later books and have yet to finish one. I always get bored halfway through.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Kimmers on May 23, 2018, 05:49:21 pm
Broken Harbor, Tana French.  I loved all her other books, but this one made me blind with rage.  So much set up for no payoff.  None.  One huge plot line literally goes nowhere.  I still get angry talking about it. 

Co-worker and I use it as a measure of how bad a book is...is it as bad as or worse than broken harbor?   
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: guest121 on May 23, 2018, 05:52:19 pm
The Monogram Murders by Sophie Hannah. The estate of Agatha Christie apparently gave permission for a Poirot novel. Bet they're regretting it now. The plot is indeed gloriously convoluted, in the approved manner but the motive for the murders? Ludicrous. The secondary detective has nothing to recommend him, either. He's constantly having some sort of existential crisis in which he wonders if anybody cares what he thinks. (Spoiler: no, not a soul. Seriously. Not even me.) He doesn't want to do detection, which is a bit of a drawback for a professional police detective. So basically he doesn't do any.

Fortunately I bought the book in a second hand shop. Now it's gone back to one.

Oh, thanks for that. I wondered if the Sophie Hannah books were up to the hype.

This will be a good opportunity to vent about all the books I don't review on my blog. I've promised my subscribers recommendations, so if I can't get behind it, I don't mention it at all.

It will be a relief to unleash the snark.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: GloryAndCrumpets on May 23, 2018, 05:57:04 pm
The Monogram Murders by Sophie Hannah. The estate of Agatha Christie apparently gave permission for a Poirot novel. Bet they're regretting it now. The plot is indeed gloriously convoluted, in the approved manner but the motive for the murders? Ludicrous. The secondary detective has nothing to recommend him, either. He's constantly having some sort of existential crisis in which he wonders if anybody cares what he thinks. (Spoiler: no, not a soul. Seriously. Not even me.) He doesn't want to do detection, which is a bit of a drawback for a professional police detective. So basically he doesn't do any.

Fortunately I bought the book in a second hand shop. Now it's gone back to one.

Ick, that sounds awful! Have you read Magpie Murders by Anthony Horowitz? It's a fun read with a mystery-inside-a-mystery twist and it's a wonderful homage to/pastiche of the classic British mystery a la Agatha Christie. You might like that better.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: GloryAndCrumpets on May 23, 2018, 06:01:00 pm
Broken Harbor, Tana French.  I loved all her other books, but this one made me blind with rage.  So much set up for no payoff.  None.  One huge plot line literally goes nowhere.  I still get angry talking about it. 

Co-worker and I use it as a measure of how bad a book is...is it as bad as or worse than broken harbor?

I enjoyed Broken Harbor overall. For me, it was In The Woods. It started off SO GOOD and I was completely into it and totally ignoring kids and housework and everything else because I just had to know what happened...AND THEN NOTHING HAPPENED! And she had such a great thing going with the Rob-Cassie relationship, and I was really loving the portrayal of a close male-female friendship that was genuinely platonic (because I feel like you so rarely see that kind of thing in media) and then she threw in that stupid "Oh, let's sleep together, wait, now things are awkward" thing and RUINED it, which I was so desperately hoping she wouldn't do. So yeah that, and the fact that it was a mystery novel that didn't solve the central mystery kind of pissed me off. That was the first Tana French book I read, and in retrospect, it's sort of amazing I read anything else by her after that.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: PaperCrystals on May 23, 2018, 07:51:50 pm
This may be a cliche, but Ulysses. God, I hate James Joyce. So much.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Tisiphone on May 23, 2018, 08:23:48 pm
The Monogram Murders by Sophie Hannah. The estate of Agatha Christie apparently gave permission for a Poirot novel. Bet they're regretting it now. The plot is indeed gloriously convoluted, in the approved manner but the motive for the murders? Ludicrous. The secondary detective has nothing to recommend him, either. He's constantly having some sort of existential crisis in which he wonders if anybody cares what he thinks. (Spoiler: no, not a soul. Seriously. Not even me.) He doesn't want to do detection, which is a bit of a drawback for a professional police detective. So basically he doesn't do any.

I read that book, too!

The character of Poirot was badly done and the original character was the stupidest, most inept protagonist I've seen in a long time. How he ever became a detective is beyond me.

The book read like it was trying to use Agatha Christie's character to launch her own series with her own character and slowly phase out Poirot.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: VorFemme on May 23, 2018, 09:39:12 pm
Supposed to be a "fantasy novel" - Missy the Werecat - dearie me, where to start?  The author isn't writing the novel, the author is more or less writing an explanation of what is going to happen in the book but someone made a mistake and published the rather long synopsis instead of the book.  Seriously - it sounds sorta like one of those people who wants to be a writer and is telling a real writer what their story idea is about...only without jumping back & forth on the time line as they keep rambling on.

It's the best explanation that I've come up with.

But after reading a chapter or two and thinking that "this has to get better", I finally realized that "this isn't going to get better".  I finished the second chapter and deleted it from my reader (it was a free book - all I spent on it was the few minutes that it took to read the first couple of chapters).


Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: GloryAndCrumpets on May 23, 2018, 09:39:43 pm
This may be a cliche, but Ulysses. God, I hate James Joyce. So much.

Never got to Ulysses, but had to read A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man for one my lit classes in college. NEVER. AGAIN. The man makes me want to stab my eyeballs out with a spork.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: gorplady on May 23, 2018, 10:18:11 pm
I have only one book I had to put down because I just. couldn't. do. it. anymore.

"The Book of Dave" by Will Self. It is written in Will Self's invented language. Some parts were brilliant, but I spent so much time having to decipher the book, I got frustrated and just stopped reading it.

https://www.amazon.com/Book-Dave-Novel-Will-Self/dp/1596913843

If you like literary challenges, this is a book for you.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Queen of the Night on May 23, 2018, 11:44:09 pm
Not so much a book as an author...  but someone please tell me how Tamar Myers ever got a publishing contract?

I am a huge fan of mysteries and cozies especially, and one of her books had a fun, catchy name, so I picked it up. It was awful. I tried another one, and it was also bad. (Big dramatic climax was that they were in a car that was sinking into the mud or something, and then suddenly they were just able to drive away.  Huh?) 

I don't remember the titles as I've blocked them out of my brain, but... 
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: AngelicGamer on May 24, 2018, 12:12:32 am
Hard hard hard NO to anything by Jodi Picoult. I threw My Sister's Keeper across the room at the ending - thank Deity the movie changed it - and we shall not speak of Nineteen Minutes. It's about a school shooting and, the way she wrote it, it felt like a ton of victim blaming. So, yeah, I will never ever read another thing by Jodi Picoult. She can go about doing her thing and I'll do my thing, but yeah. No. So much no. Let's add another one. NO PUT IT DOWN AND BACK AWAY SLOWLY NO.

Also, unless you can stand annoying male teenagers, pass on Will Grayson, Will Grayson too. I had to DNF it after four chapters. I didn't care if the main characters of the same name but different backgrounds were going to be okay or whatever. If one of them had stopped either whining or focusing on people's size and gayness, I would have stuck it out. Neither did. I am going to try Looking for Alaska and hope it's a fluke on John Green but we'll see. I don't know what to try of David Levithan to see if that was a fluke too but we'll see.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: MariaE on May 24, 2018, 12:20:26 am
Ha! I'm the exact opposite with My Sister's Keeper! I wanted to throw the movie across the room for changing the ending!  ;D

I haven't read WGWG, but Looking for Alaska was rather good, I though. I liked it better than The Fault in Our Stars.

The only book I rage-hate is "50 Shades of should never have been published". Not because it used to be fanfic (that's how many good books got started", but because it's just so bad and totally glorifies an abusive relationship. The only good thing about having read it, is that I got to write the snarkiest review I've ever written  8).

There are other books I hate, but none that actually make me furious got published like that one.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Queen of the Night on May 24, 2018, 12:25:15 am

The only book I rage-hate is "50 Shades of should never have been published". Not because it used to be fanfic (that's how many good books got started", but because it's just so bad and totally glorifies an abusive relationship. The only good thing about having read it, is that I got to write the snarkiest review I've ever written  8).

There are other books I hate, but none that actually make me furious got published like that one.

This!  OMG this.

And the BDSM isn't very accurate, either. 

Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: AngelicGamer on May 24, 2018, 01:01:52 am
Ha! I'm the exact opposite with My Sister's Keeper! I wanted to throw the movie across the room for changing the ending!  ;D

I haven't read WGWG, but Looking for Alaska was rather good, I though. I liked it better than The Fault in Our Stars.

The only book I rage-hate is "50 Shades of should never have been published". Not because it used to be fanfic (that's how many good books got started", but because it's just so bad and totally glorifies an abusive relationship. The only good thing about having read it, is that I got to write the snarkiest review I've ever written  8).

There are other books I hate, but none that actually make me furious got published like that one.

The movie felt more in line with the rest of the plot than the book did. The book gave me a big sense of deus ex machina with that ending with how she chose to end it. Just...gyah. I was holding my breath when they got to that scene because I take everything that's spoilers about movies with a huge grain of salt. I was glad those spoilers were right.

Completely agree about 50 Shades. I read a few chapters and went "nope!" as it wasn't holding my interest at all. It's sad because I really like fanfic becoming actual books of their own when it's not authors who have either plagiarized or have strongly suspected lying to get laptops and money like Cassandra Clare. She did both and she's another I would not even read it if it was the last thing on Earth to read. This explains it a lot better than I ever could: https://medium.com/@puentera/the-cassie-clare-issue-ed2a9d9f2e31
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: AliciaLynette on May 24, 2018, 03:57:07 am
I haven't ever touched 50 Shades of Shite, because I could see from the way it was trailered that it was going to be awful!

I used to belong to a book club and one of the books was We have to talk about Kevin. I managed to read a couple of chapters, but it was such laboured writing that didn't seem to go anywhere that I had to stop. It could have been a good book about the difficulties of dealing with an autistic (I think) child, but it just wasn't.

I did try reading Twilight, that's the only book I've ever actually thrown across the room! Mum wasn't impressed, since I narrowly missed hitting her with it, but she managed to read less of it than I did, and I didn't finish the first chapter! Another in that vein was the first Game of Thrones book, it sounded like it might be interesting, even with the constant deaths, but no.

I actually quite like the Dick/Felix Francis books, true they're not a patch on Dick & Mary's ones, but as stand-alone books they're not bad.

ETA: corrected Dick Francis' son's name, I thought I knew it, then reached for a book which happened to be one of theirs and realised I had it wrong!
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Athersgeo on May 24, 2018, 07:17:21 am
This may get me in trouble, but Great Expectations.

It was one of my set texts for GCSE English Literature lo these many years ago now and while I've managed to rehabilitate Romeo and Juliet (largely thanks to Prokofiev), Great Expectations still raises mental hives.

It's so dull. And plotless. And the characters are all utterly unlikable. And when you can cut out great chunks of a novel without losing a single thing of merit, the book as too. damn. much. padding. (Dickens is reputed to have been paid by the word. Great Expectations is excellent support for that argument!)

I mean, as a piece of social history it has some merit to it, for sure, but as a novel?

Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Free Range Hippy Chick on May 24, 2018, 07:31:46 am
Oh, I think we can take all school set books as a given. I do not, cannot, will not read anything by Evelyn Waugh, ever. Ever. (And I hear you about Dickens. I can read Trollope, but not Dickens.)
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Poesie on May 24, 2018, 08:55:59 am
Can’t bear to read any Dickens. Couldn’t get through Great Expectations and think that did me in for the rest.

Also not anything by George Elliot. Read a whole heap of her stuff as part of an extension reading programme in high school, based on my English teacher’s recommendation.

And not Faulkner’s The Sound and the Fury.

There were a few things i read for book club that made me stop wanting to go. One was Heaven is for Real. May be fine if you’re more religious than I am. For me, so much nope.





Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Hotblack Desiato on May 24, 2018, 09:31:13 am
War and Peace. I have tried so many times to read this, but have so much trouble with all the different names for the same people I give up every time.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: MrTango on May 24, 2018, 10:20:08 am
LadyTango tried to read "50 Shades..." but couldn't get through the first couple chapters because the writing was so terrible.

Of all the books that I've been forced to read while in school, the ones I hated the most
"Snow Falling on Cedars"
"The Grapes of Wrath" & "The Pearl" (though a couple of Steinbeck's other novels were not bad)
The first half of "A Tale of Two Cities" was terrible, but when Dickens finally got the story to France, it was at least tolerable.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Kiwi Cupcake on May 24, 2018, 10:22:25 am
Also, unless you can stand annoying male teenagers, pass on Will Grayson, Will Grayson too. I had to DNF it after four chapters. I didn't care if the main characters of the same name but different backgrounds were going to be okay or whatever. If one of them had stopped either whining or focusing on people's size and gayness, I would have stuck it out. Neither did. I am going to try Looking for Alaska and hope it's a fluke on John Green but we'll see. I don't know what to try of David Levithan to see if that was a fluke too but we'll see.

My first book of David Levithan's was Boy Meets Boy and I thought it was really cute and fun. I read it years ago so I may need to reread to see if I still feel the same.

I have Will Grayson in my stack to read and I'm sorry to see the bad review. I'll probably still read it anyway.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Random Heroine on May 24, 2018, 12:02:38 pm
I'm sure people will shoot me, but dear lord did I hate Outlander.  I don't understand how people enjoy it.

First, I hated the main character.  Second, I was originally so excited to see how this woman would adapt to suddenly finding herself in the past.  But she pretty much just seamlessly adjusts.  Like imagine going back in time, just the smells alone should take some adjusting.  But nope.  And she accepts incredibly quickly that she just time-traveled.  Like she doesn't periodically express much wonder or excitement or awe that this crazy miraculous thing has happened.  Nope.  It's like someone told her that her doctor's appointment got moved from Tuesday to Thursday.

Then of course, there's the ****.  And while yes, I know that **** is an issue in that time, and an issue in romance novels, but **** was the constant plot progression.  Need to move the story along?  Let's try to **** someone.  Okay, let's do that again.  Now again.  Okay let's try to **** someone else.

I loved the idea of this time traveling romance, but it had none of the interesting elements of that kind of story.  Just lots and lots of **** and a main character I wanted to punch in the face.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Random Heroine on May 24, 2018, 12:08:54 pm
Also, unless you can stand annoying male teenagers, pass on Will Grayson, Will Grayson too. I had to DNF it after four chapters. I didn't care if the main characters of the same name but different backgrounds were going to be okay or whatever. If one of them had stopped either whining or focusing on people's size and gayness, I would have stuck it out. Neither did. I am going to try Looking for Alaska and hope it's a fluke on John Green but we'll see. I don't know what to try of David Levithan to see if that was a fluke too but we'll see.

David Levithan was my professor and I met John Green way back when we "Looking for Alaska" used to be called the blowjob book. ;) So I've got a lot of familiarity with their books and their writing.

I'd recommend "Every Day"by David Levithan.  It's really plays with the idea of what love means to identity and I think it's so beautiful.  As for John Green, I feel like he keeps writing the same two characters over and over.  The too smart bookish guy and the unattainable, mysterious intriguing girl he's interested in.  I actually really preferred "The Fault in Our Stars" to "Looking for Alaska". I even preferred an "Abundance of Catherines" to "Looking for Alaska".  I felt like the latter isn't quite as deep as it's trying to be.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: gorplady on May 24, 2018, 12:25:09 pm
I'm sure people will shoot me, but dear lord did I hate Outlander.  I don't understand how people enjoy it.

First, I hated the main character.  Second, I was originally so excited to see how this woman would adapt to suddenly finding herself in the past.  But she pretty much just seamlessly adjusts.  Like imagine going back in time, just the smells alone should take some adjusting.  But nope.  And she accepts incredibly quickly that she just time-traveled.  Like she doesn't periodically express much wonder or excitement or awe that this crazy miraculous thing has happened.  Nope.  It's like someone told her that her doctor's appointment got moved from Tuesday to Thursday.

Then of course, there's the ****.  And while yes, I know that **** is an issue in that time, and an issue in romance novels, but **** was the constant plot progression.  Need to move the story along?  Let's try to **** someone.  Okay, let's do that again.  Now again.  Okay let's try to **** someone else.

I loved the idea of this time traveling romance, but it had none of the interesting elements of that kind of story.  Just lots and lots of **** and a main character I wanted to punch in the face.

I feel like she *did* express a lot of awe and clearly stuck out like a sore thumb, but quickly realised that in the time period she was in (remember, her husband was a historian) that she'd be killed as a witch if she *didn't* adapt quickly.

I don't remember there being a ton of **** in the first book, other than Jamie's. There's certainly threats of it, but not actuality.  (And I'm just rereading the whole series now in anticipation of the next book...)
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Random Heroine on May 24, 2018, 12:33:13 pm
I'm sure people will shoot me, but dear lord did I hate Outlander.  I don't understand how people enjoy it.

First, I hated the main character.  Second, I was originally so excited to see how this woman would adapt to suddenly finding herself in the past.  But she pretty much just seamlessly adjusts.  Like imagine going back in time, just the smells alone should take some adjusting.  But nope.  And she accepts incredibly quickly that she just time-traveled.  Like she doesn't periodically express much wonder or excitement or awe that this crazy miraculous thing has happened.  Nope.  It's like someone told her that her doctor's appointment got moved from Tuesday to Thursday.

Then of course, there's the ****.  And while yes, I know that **** is an issue in that time, and an issue in romance novels, but **** was the constant plot progression.  Need to move the story along?  Let's try to **** someone.  Okay, let's do that again.  Now again.  Okay let's try to **** someone else.

I loved the idea of this time traveling romance, but it had none of the interesting elements of that kind of story.  Just lots and lots of **** and a main character I wanted to punch in the face.

I feel like she *did* express a lot of awe and clearly stuck out like a sore thumb, but quickly realised that in the time period she was in (remember, her husband was a historian) that she'd be killed as a witch if she *didn't* adapt quickly.

I don't remember there being a ton of **** in the first book, other than Jamie's. There's certainly threats of it, but not actuality.  (And I'm just rereading the whole series now in anticipation of the next book...)

There was constant *almost* raping.  I felt like there was very little plot at all beyond that.  I don't remember much awe coming for her at all.  It was like a couple sentences at the beginning and then just nothing.   And I don't mean adapting in her behavior as much as in her thoughts.  It didn't feel realistic to me and overall I found her character unlikeable.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: AngelicGamer on May 24, 2018, 01:09:32 pm
Thank you Kiwi Cupcake and Random Heroine for your recs on David Levithan! I really was at a lost of what to try to read of his - I always try to give authors at least a 2 book try before I give up on them - and I just didn't know of him. I know of John Green, as I have a friend that's a John Green fangirl and would gush about all his books, and she's been the one pushing me to read Looking for Alaska. I think, for him, I'm going to try either Abundance of Catherines or Fault in Our Stars before Looking for Alaska. Maybe both! :D

Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: guest121 on May 24, 2018, 01:13:31 pm
....

There were a few things i read for book club that made me stop wanting to go. One was Heaven is for Real. May be fine if you’re more religious than I am. For me, so much nope.

I am really quite religious, and I wouldn't touch that book with a 10-foot pole, just based on what I've heard.

I think using God as an excuse for sucky writing comes perilously close to "taking His Name in vain."
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Surly on May 26, 2018, 11:01:38 am
I'm sure people will shoot me, but dear lord did I hate Outlander.  I don't understand how people enjoy it.

First, I hated the main character.  Second, I was originally so excited to see how this woman would adapt to suddenly finding herself in the past.  But she pretty much just seamlessly adjusts.  Like imagine going back in time, just the smells alone should take some adjusting.  But nope.  And she accepts incredibly quickly that she just time-traveled.  Like she doesn't periodically express much wonder or excitement or awe that this crazy miraculous thing has happened.  Nope.  It's like someone told her that her doctor's appointment got moved from Tuesday to Thursday.

Then of course, there's the ****.  And while yes, I know that **** is an issue in that time, and an issue in romance novels, but **** was the constant plot progression.  Need to move the story along?  Let's try to **** someone.  Okay, let's do that again.  Now again.  Okay let's try to **** someone else.

I loved the idea of this time traveling romance, but it had none of the interesting elements of that kind of story.  Just lots and lots of **** and a main character I wanted to punch in the face.

Hah!  I love Outlander and yet agree with everything you've said.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: avoidingthedrama on May 27, 2018, 06:14:07 am
Can’t read Virginia Wolff, Dickens, Tolstoy......
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: BLZbub on May 27, 2018, 08:58:29 am
I usually finish books, even if I'm not enjoying them. The one that I just couldn't even get past 100 pages was The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. I am convinced I am the only person in the world who hated this book.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Allyson on May 27, 2018, 01:05:01 pm
The series that made me not read any fantasy for 10 years - Wheel of Time. Hated the main character so much but I liked the writing/story enough that I kept reading for 8 books, which was an error because my loathing of Rand only intensified as the books continued, and now I can only think of the series with a "dammit Rand." I know some people absolutely love that series so no insult intended to those in that category!

I read a lot of romance/mystery and some of them have been real stinkers, but they rarely stick out in my head after I read them, probably because I typically gave up and forgot about them. So the ones I tend to remember are ones that have enough redeeming qualities I keep reading despite a major irritation.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Apis Mellifera on May 27, 2018, 01:31:48 pm
Code Breakers (Colin F Barnes)
Boring.  It was free for my Kindle, and still overpriced.

Invasion (two authors)
Total lack of logic, unlikable characters.

Blood of the Lamb (Michael Lister)
OK, you have a chaplain who is intent on using female pronouns for God and decides to make a political point about it at a child's funeral.  Plus a whole lot of unrealistic plot points.

Catch Me  (Lisa Gardner)
Redundancies about, plot as described was interesting--plot as executed was horrid).  Also, badly executed "head hopping".
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Free Range Hippy Chick on May 27, 2018, 01:37:05 pm
Free for Kindle: The Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse by Vicente Blasco Ibáñez. Treat it as herd immunity: I read it so nobody else needs to.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: thebushiestbeaver on May 27, 2018, 06:07:01 pm
Unpopular opinion: The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson.

I'm all about true crime, but this is one of the few books I couldn't finish. I struggled till about halfway through and then said screw it. The parts about H.H. Holmes were ok, but the parts about the World's Fair were so painfully boring and so much longer than the exciting murder bits.

I agree about Into The Woods, too. It was such an unsatisfying ending. I haven't read anything by Tana French since.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: GloryAndCrumpets on May 27, 2018, 06:26:04 pm
Unpopular opinion: The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson.

I'm all about true crime, but this is one of the few books I couldn't finish. I struggled till about halfway through and then said screw it. The parts about H.H. Holmes were ok, but the parts about the World's Fair were so painfully boring and so much longer than the exciting murder bits.

I agree about Into The Woods, too. It was such an unsatisfying ending. I haven't read anything by Tana French since.

I read a couple reviews on Amazon saying that the ending was good because it was so realistic because in real life, not every case gets solved. Okay, that's true, but news flash! I don't read mystery novels so I can experience the realistic frustration of unsolved cases!

I did like Devil in the White City, though. And unlike a lot of people in this thread, I love me some Dickens.  :)
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Kiwi Cupcake on May 27, 2018, 08:05:31 pm
Unpopular opinion: The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson.

I'm all about true crime, but this is one of the few books I couldn't finish. I struggled till about halfway through and then said screw it. The parts about H.H. Holmes were ok, but the parts about the World's Fair were so painfully boring and so much longer than the exciting murder bits.

I thought I was the only one. I didn't like or finish this either. I don't know how anybody was able to make the world's fair, architecture, and H.H. Holmes so boring but this author did it.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Morrigan on May 28, 2018, 04:55:34 pm
Whitefern - V.C. Andrews. This is the sequel to My Sweet Audrina, and i didn't think it could be worse. I was so very wrong.

Outlander: I did not like the first book. The second one seems okay (and I've been told that the series get better as it goes along). This book was sold to me as a historical fiction, rather than a romance. My experience with historical fiction is Leon Uris, so this was really not what I was expecting.

It's rare that I have to put a book down, but I am part of the way through The Child Finder, and the scenes are so disturbing that I haven't picked it back up.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Chez Miriam on May 31, 2018, 03:06:07 pm
Christmas at Carrington's by Alexandra Brown.  I wanted to shake the protagonist and scream "grow up!".  Everyone seemed to be behaving like adolescents - I don't have a problem about that, but let them be schoolchildren doing so, not (alleged) adults.  The flip side of that is Elizabeth George's series for young adults [Edge of ...]: they were wonderful characters, and I'm scouring the charity shops for more.

I mostly read murder-mysteries, but I take two weeks at Christmas to read Christmas themed books - most of which are chick lit.  I don't mind that brief window of that genre, but there's got to be some standards!  Last Christmas I managed to find a bunch of murder-mysteries with "Christmas" or "Advent" in the title, so I was a happy bunny. ;D  And I was more discerning with the "Christmas at the Little Tea Room" choices.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: highpriestess on May 31, 2018, 06:29:55 pm
Forest Gump. The absolute worst book I have ever read. I love the movie but the book was just awful. It was so awful I almost have suggested it for my bookclub so everyone can agree how awful it is. Or I can verify my friend's terrible taste.

Honorable mention is Stepford Wives.  When the afterword explaining the book is longer than the actual book, something seems wrong.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Random Heroine on June 01, 2018, 08:39:50 am
I usually finish books, even if I'm not enjoying them. The one that I just couldn't even get past 100 pages was The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. I am convinced I am the only person in the world who hated this book.

I didn't hate it, but I found it took way way too long to get interesting.  You have to get well past that 100 page mark.  I think that book could have benefited from some more judicious editing.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Random Heroine on June 01, 2018, 08:44:04 am
I typically force myself to finish a book even if I hate it, but one I couldn't make it all the way through was "The Historian".  Somehow the author managed to make Dracula boring.  And she kept changing voice but the different narrators sounded like the same history professor - a really uninspiring one.  I don't know why she just didn't keep the same character narrating the whole thing if she was going to make them sound *exactly* the same...
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Morrigan on June 01, 2018, 10:35:58 am
I love The Millennium Series, and I found The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo hard to get into. One of my favourite books is The Girl Who Played with Fire, and was much more interesting than The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (it's the second book in the series).
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: corgiqueen on June 01, 2018, 03:05:39 pm
Hard hard hard NO to anything by Jodi Picoult. I threw My Sister's Keeper across the room at the ending - thank Deity the movie changed it - and we shall not speak of Nineteen Minutes. It's about a school shooting and, the way she wrote it, it felt like a ton of victim blaming. So, yeah, I will never ever read another thing by Jodi Picoult. She can go about doing her thing and I'll do my thing, but yeah. No. So much no. Let's add another one. NO PUT IT DOWN AND BACK AWAY SLOWLY NO.

Also, unless you can stand annoying male teenagers, pass on Will Grayson, Will Grayson too. I had to DNF it after four chapters. I didn't care if the main characters of the same name but different backgrounds were going to be okay or whatever. If one of them had stopped either whining or focusing on people's size and gayness, I would have stuck it out. Neither did. I am going to try Looking for Alaska and hope it's a fluke on John Green but we'll see. I don't know what to try of David Levithan to see if that was a fluke too but we'll see.

Oh me too! A friend gave me a book by her for my bday one year, she LOVES her. i think it was something about an Amish girl? or a nun?who got pregnant?
i don't know but it was awful. And I've never read another by her again. What's funny is i had it in my car to bring to donate, and was with the friend
who had given it to me. I opened my trunk, and she saw the books and said oh, what are those? i said oh, i',m donating those, help yourself.

OOPS she found the one she had given me. whoops.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: ginger aka Gellchom on June 01, 2018, 03:39:51 pm
Once (pre-Facebook) I sent out a group email to a lot of friends and relatives asking what is the book they hated so much that they wanted to write the publisher and demand their time back.  There was a clear winner (one guy wrote, "Oh, this is easy -- I don't even have to think about it"): The Celestine Prophecy.  Not sure why, because after that I made sure not to read it, but, boy, do people ever hate that book!

I am going to get flamed here, because a lot of people love this book, but for me, that book is Memoirs of a Geisha.  For oh, so many reasons: 
- The writing is abysmal -- this guy used up his lifetime allotment of similes by page 31.  I can forgive almost everything but bad writing (I'm looking at you, The DaVinci Code).  That's why I skipped Fifty Shades -- I heard that the writing was terrible.
- Hit me over the head, why dontcha, with all the Cinderella metaphors -- "stepmother and stepsisters," "Prince" Chairman, and even Pumpkin.  Give me a break.
- Just when I thought it might get interesting -- what did happen to the geisha industry during the war? -- it gets half a page, and then right back to the other stuff, without anyone reexamining whether they wanted to return to geisha life. 
- The main character is a complete ****: she completely uses and exploits the man who is kind to her, she couldn't care less about her lover's wife and children, she neglects servants just as she was neglected when she was a servant, and she completely forgets about her sister, who is still enslaved in a brothel, once she hits the big time and could easily save her. 
- The real retired geisha who the author says is his dear friend and who taught him so much says it's not true; she barely knows him, and he got almost everything wrong. 
- But the worst part is that it's really just a story of sex trafficking and child ****, but because it's wrapped up in detailed descriptions of "exotic" costumes and hairstyles, people love it -- the same people who would be outraged if it were set in the US or Europe.

I'm afraid I part company with those who hate Dickens and Tolstoy.  Love them both.  It certainly does help if you didn't first meet a writer or a book as assigned reading in high school, doesn't it!  Hint on War and Peace -- yep, it's the confusing names that make it hard.  Otherwise, it's not.  My brother had an edition that came with a perforated bookmark with a table of the names -- isn't that brilliant?  The translation of Anna Karenina that I read simplified the names, which totally did the job of making it readable.

And I absolutely loved The Devil in the White City -- I just recommended it to someone the other day.  In fact, I especially loved the parts about the World's Fair and Olmstead.  I learned so many cool things I couldn't believe I didn't already know.  I didn't want that book to end -- "Tell me some more cool stuff!"  I've read a few others by Erik Larson (In the Garden of Beasts, Thunderstruck, Dead Wake), and I've loved them all -- I hope to get to all his books eventually.  His books read like fiction, but they aren't -- even dialog and what people were thinking is drawn from documentary evidence of their own writing or testimony -- and I always learn so much.  In the Garden of Beasts, about US diplomats in Berlin just before and during WWII, is extraordinary.

Just goes to show why the library is so full of books!  We all like different things.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Another Sarah on June 04, 2018, 11:04:59 am
P.C. Cast. I came across a trilogy (Partholon) she'd written in a charity shop, and thought it was complete trash but fun, so I tried her (apparently more famous and popular) Goddess Summoning books, specifically the one about king Arthur - basically it's a series where the modern-day female protagonist finds themselves in a mythological setting - I love myths and legends so thought I'd give it a try.
Oh my god.
I love a bit of junk reading but by the time the main character had concocted Dark ages nail polish out of flowers and some sort of sticky sap so she could have a girls night in with Guinevere, solved the problem of Arthur's issues with his son by kicking Mordred in the shins and poisoned an entire invading army by ostentatiously leaving a pile of pies outside the castle that they immediately stopped and ate like a legion of ancient Roadrunners falling into Wile. E. Coyote's latest trap, I was somewhere between baffled, checking to make sure it wasn't supposed to be a joke (it wasn't) and frantically trying to invent brain bleach.

I've always taken the approach that you shouldn't knock something before you tried it, and you should always be open to new experiences. I was open to new experiences and now I am most definitely knocking it.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: ginger aka Gellchom on June 04, 2018, 04:59:48 pm
P.C. Cast. I came across a trilogy (Partholon) she'd written in a charity shop, and thought it was complete trash but fun, so I tried her (apparently more famous and popular) Goddess Summoning books, specifically the one about king Arthur - basically it's a series where the modern-day female protagonist finds themselves in a mythological setting - I love myths and legends so thought I'd give it a try.
Oh my god.
I love a bit of junk reading but by the time the main character had concocted Dark ages nail polish out of flowers and some sort of sticky sap so she could have a girls night in with Guinevere, solved the problem of Arthur's issues with his son by kicking Mordred in the shins and poisoned an entire invading army by ostentatiously leaving a pile of pies outside the castle that they immediately stopped and ate like a legion of ancient Roadrunners falling into Wile. E. Coyote's latest trap, I was somewhere between baffled, checking to make sure it wasn't supposed to be a joke (it wasn't) and frantically trying to invent brain bleach.

I've always taken the approach that you shouldn't knock something before you tried it, and you should always be open to new experiences. I was open to new experiences and now I am most definitely knocking it.

You are hilarious.  I want to read a book YOU write!

Sounds like a failed attempt at something like A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court.  Maybe you have to be Mark Twain to pull it off.  I would have liked to see a movie version on Mystery Science Theater.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Another Sarah on June 04, 2018, 08:49:15 pm
Aw well thanks but really the credit lies with the author for being so easy to mock!

A little like that but with none of the wit and satire. But it does have two characters randomly speak to each other in tortuous rhyming couplets, so there’s that.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Athersgeo on June 05, 2018, 06:34:32 am
I am going to get flamed here, because a lot of people love this book, but for me, that book is Memoirs of a Geisha.  For oh, so many reasons... 

My biggest problem with it was the shady nature of the author's research. (Short version: he interviewed a retired Geisha, promised her anonymity, broke the promise and got sued after she got death threats as a result!) That said, though, you're absolutely spot on with your criticisms - I didn't out and out hate the book, but it really wasn't terribly good, either.

That said, next(ish) on my to read pile is Geisha of Gion (published in the US as Geisha, a Life) which is the autobiography of the aforementioned retired Geisha which, I think, probably puts the record straight. (Will report back once I've finished, if you haven't already read it!)
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Kiara on June 05, 2018, 12:21:40 pm
Whitefern - V.C. Andrews. This is the sequel to My Sweet Audrina, and i didn't think it could be worse. I was so very wrong.

Wait.

Just.....wait.


THERE WAS A SEQUEL??!!??

Oh my stars.....   :o :o ??? ??? :o :o

(I need a puking smiley.)
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: PeasInQueues on June 05, 2018, 12:22:13 pm
- Ready Player One: read like the worst of the gamer gate guys. Very few female gamers - so surprising when they were as good as guys! So much worship over knowing useless information and anyone who didn't was ridiculed.

- Outlander: I was okay until the very last ****. It felt totally unnecessary as far as plot devices. I am not a fan of using **** to shock and appall the reader. It's lazy. The semi-**** also felt unnecessary except for one that I could see as a character developer.

- 50 Shades of Gray: She graduated college without an email address, without a computer, without a drink, and without ever being attracted to anyone ever. Besides the terrible writing and the abusive relationship, she was legitimately a terrible friend and an idiot. I only finished it because I was tweeting a review. I didn't have the heart to read the other books.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Kiwi Cupcake on June 05, 2018, 01:21:03 pm
Whitefern - V.C. Andrews. This is the sequel to My Sweet Audrina, and i didn't think it could be worse. I was so very wrong.

Wait.

Just.....wait.


THERE WAS A SEQUEL??!!??

Oh my stars.....   :o :o ??? ??? :o :o

(I need a puking smiley.)

I'm not the OP but I saw it in the library, read the end, and put it back on the shelf chalking it up as fanfiction. Terrible horrible fanfiction.

I. can. not. stand. the ghostwriter. If they are to continue with using V.C. Andrew's name, they need to ditch this guy and bring in fresh new voice(s). At least he used to just write "new" stories but when he ruins Ms. Andrew's real books with his "sequels"......... >:(. I'm glad to notice new ghostwritten books are no longer automatically on the best seller lists like they use to be.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: MariaE on June 05, 2018, 04:00:11 pm
That said, next(ish) on my to read pile is Geisha of Gion (published in the US as Geisha, a Life) which is the autobiography of the aforementioned retired Geisha which, I think, probably puts the record straight. (Will report back once I've finished, if you haven't already read it!)

I've read it (wanted to know the real story) - it's a tad dry, but still a really fascinating book.

- Outlander: I was okay until the very last ****. It felt totally unnecessary as far as plot devices. I am not a fan of using **** to shock and appall the reader. It's lazy. The semi-**** also felt unnecessary except for one that I could see as a character developer.
I'm trying to recall the last ****... I can't think of any after the one committed by Randall, and I thought that one very necessary as a plot device / character development?

I do agree it gets a bit silly in the later books though (book 5 especially), but books 1 and 3 are by far my favourites.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: PeasInQueues on June 05, 2018, 04:23:07 pm
The one committed against Jamie by Randall, I felt, was totally unnecessary. I don't see how it was key to the plot at all. They already had a personal vendetta issue between the two because of the flogging.

The partial **** by Randall on Claire, I felt, was to illustrate that Randall was homosexual and unable to get aroused except by violence.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Winterlight on June 05, 2018, 09:43:02 pm
- 50 Shades of Gray: She graduated college without an email address, without a computer, without a drink, and without ever being attracted to anyone ever. Besides the terrible writing and the abusive relationship, she was legitimately a terrible friend and an idiot. I only finished it because I was tweeting a review. I didn't have the heart to read the other books.

I read fifty pages and decided that my inner goddess is Lilith and she was about to beat the snot out of Christian Grey. And then ship Ana off to an Outward Bound course in the hope that she'd develop a brain and a spine. And some common sense.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: MariaE on June 06, 2018, 01:09:08 am
The one committed against Jamie by Randall, I felt, was totally unnecessary. I don't see how it was key to the plot at all. They already had a personal vendetta issue between the two because of the flogging.

The partial **** by Randall on Claire, I felt, was to illustrate that Randall was homosexual and unable to get aroused except by violence.

I felt it was a necessary setup for events occuring in the later books. Books 2 and 3 especially.

Totally agree with you on the partial **** though.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: PeasInQueues on June 06, 2018, 09:24:41 am
The one committed against Jamie by Randall, I felt, was totally unnecessary. I don't see how it was key to the plot at all. They already had a personal vendetta issue between the two because of the flogging.

The partial **** by Randall on Claire, I felt, was to illustrate that Randall was homosexual and unable to get aroused except by violence.

I felt it was a necessary setup for events occuring in the later books. Books 2 and 3 especially.

Totally agree with you on the partial **** though.
That might be the issue, then, because I lost interest and didn't read the other books. So, I'm only working on partial information.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Kimmers on June 06, 2018, 11:28:17 am
- 50 Shades of Gray: She graduated college without an email address, without a computer, without a drink, and without ever being attracted to anyone ever. Besides the terrible writing and the abusive relationship, she was legitimately a terrible friend and an idiot. I only finished it because I was tweeting a review. I didn't have the heart to read the other books.

I read fifty pages and decided that my inner goddess is Lilith and she was about to beat the snot out of Christian Grey. And then ship Ana off to an Outward Bound course in the hope that she'd develop a brain and a spine. And some common sense.

I agree with all of this, but I have a compulsion to complete things.  I read the entire damned series because I had to finish it.  I even read that terrible After series while it was still a jumbled mess on wattpad, because I started it and had to finish.  I try to be more careful about what I pick up now, I lost a good portion of my life to those two dumpster fire series.   
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: whiterose on June 06, 2018, 05:20:09 pm
Do NOT read "Wicked" by Gregory Maguire.

No matter how much you like the musical- which I hear is much better, even though overrated.

The book was horrendous. I still have not gone to see the musical- though I listened to the soundtrack- simply because the book was that awful.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: GloryAndCrumpets on June 06, 2018, 07:35:27 pm
- Ready Player One: read like the worst of the gamer gate guys. Very few female gamers - so surprising when they were as good as guys! So much worship over knowing useless information and anyone who didn't was ridiculed.

- Outlander: I was okay until the very last ****. It felt totally unnecessary as far as plot devices. I am not a fan of using **** to shock and appall the reader. It's lazy. The semi-**** also felt unnecessary except for one that I could see as a character developer.

- 50 Shades of Gray: She graduated college without an email address, without a computer, without a drink, and without ever being attracted to anyone ever. Besides the terrible writing and the abusive relationship, she was legitimately a terrible friend and an idiot. I only finished it because I was tweeting a review. I didn't have the heart to read the other books.

I didn't read the actual book, just snarky breakdowns on a couple of blogs and I could not believe that part. "Holy crap, I'm on Google!" Seriously? Seriously????? You honestly expect us to believe that in the 21st century you are graduating college near the top of your class without ever having owned or even apparently used a computer, email, or the internet? No. Just no. And I say that as someone who enjoys reading Victorian novels, likes to write letters on aged paper with a quill pen, got an actual oil lamp as a graduation present, and whose dream wardrobe would contain no outfits more recent than probably 1923.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: MariaE on June 07, 2018, 12:32:32 am
Do NOT read "Wicked" by Gregory Maguire.

No matter how much you like the musical- which I hear is much better, even though overrated.

The book was horrendous. I still have not gone to see the musical- though I listened to the soundtrack- simply because the book was that awful.

I saw the musical first, fortunately. It is MUCH better and is obviously only loosely inspired by the book - not based on it. The book is boring as.

I didn't read the actual book, just snarky breakdowns on a couple of blogs and I could not believe that part. "Holy crap, I'm on Google!" Seriously? Seriously????? You honestly expect us to believe that in the 21st century you are graduating college near the top of your class without ever having owned or even apparently used a computer, email, or the internet? No. Just no. And I say that as someone who enjoys reading Victorian novels, likes to write letters on aged paper with a quill pen, got an actual oil lamp as a graduation present, and whose dream wardrobe would contain no outfits more recent than probably 1923.

That part got to me to. But apparently she did have an iPod. So what.... she just never put any new music on it?
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Athersgeo on June 07, 2018, 06:27:54 am
I didn't read the actual book, just snarky breakdowns on a couple of blogs and I could not believe that part. "Holy crap, I'm on Google!" Seriously? Seriously????? You honestly expect us to believe that in the 21st century you are graduating college near the top of your class without ever having owned or even apparently used a computer, email, or the internet? No. Just no. And I say that as someone who enjoys reading Victorian novels, likes to write letters on aged paper with a quill pen, got an actual oil lamp as a graduation present, and whose dream wardrobe would contain no outfits more recent than probably 1923.

That part got to me to. But apparently she did have an iPod. So what.... she just never put any new music on it?

Well, depending on the iPod you don't need a computer to get music on there - just a wifi connection and an iTunes account. Though the whole not having an email account would make even that part a bit of a challenge (it's been years since I registered for iTunes but I'm fairly sure one of the bits of info they required was an email address!)

And, just because it's entertaining as all get out:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/608134 - how to make a long, tedious and badly written trilogy into a surprisingly satisfying short story. With bonus mythology and witch craft.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Kiwi Cupcake on June 07, 2018, 09:57:25 am
I didn't read the actual book, just snarky breakdowns on a couple of blogs and I could not believe that part. "Holy crap, I'm on Google!" Seriously? Seriously????? You honestly expect us to believe that in the 21st century you are graduating college near the top of your class without ever having owned or even apparently used a computer, email, or the internet? No. Just no. And I say that as someone who enjoys reading Victorian novels, likes to write letters on aged paper with a quill pen, got an actual oil lamp as a graduation present, and whose dream wardrobe would contain no outfits more recent than probably 1923.

That part got to me to. But apparently she did have an iPod. So what.... she just never put any new music on it?

I didn't read the book either but do professors even accept physical papers anymore? I thought papers are mostly emailed to them nowadays. Did she handwrite them or manage to find a typewriter with enough ink tape? And don't most professors distribute class notes and announcements via mass email to student's school assigned email?

Did she use her helpless little girl routine (from what I saw in commercials for the movie) to get other people to download music?

That is the dumbest detail ever. But the whole book sounds pretty dumb.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: MariaE on June 07, 2018, 04:46:56 pm
That is the dumbest detail ever. But the whole book sounds pretty dumb.

Oh, so dumb! I took great satisfaction in tearing it to pieces (https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/369836818?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1) on Goodreads  ;D ::)
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Apis Mellifera on June 07, 2018, 07:27:44 pm
- Ready Player One: read like the worst of the gamer gate guys. Very few female gamers - so surprising when they were as good as guys! So much worship over knowing useless information and anyone who didn't was ridiculed.

- Outlander: I was okay until the very last ****. It felt totally unnecessary as far as plot devices. I am not a fan of using **** to shock and appall the reader. It's lazy. The semi-**** also felt unnecessary except for one that I could see as a character developer.

- 50 Shades of Gray: She graduated college without an email address, without a computer, without a drink, and without ever being attracted to anyone ever. Besides the terrible writing and the abusive relationship, she was legitimately a terrible friend and an idiot. I only finished it because I was tweeting a review. I didn't have the heart to read the other books.

I didn't read the actual book, just snarky breakdowns on a couple of blogs and I could not believe that part. "Holy crap, I'm on Google!" Seriously? Seriously????? You honestly expect us to believe that in the 21st century you are graduating college near the top of your class without ever having owned or even apparently used a computer, email, or the internet? No. Just no. And I say that as someone who enjoys reading Victorian novels, likes to write letters on aged paper with a quill pen, got an actual oil lamp as a graduation present, and whose dream wardrobe would contain no outfits more recent than probably 1923.
I'm there, too.  I wish I could find the one comic I saw ... there was a male figure reading  the first book, with various incredulous expressions "What? That's not the way that works" kind of dialog.  Then he reached the end, closed the book and said "Best ending ever!"  Then someone drops the other two volumes on the desk/table, and he says "Damn it!"

But the short story in Aethersgeo's link was a fun read (I'm not going to say "better than the source material" because almost *anything* is better than that particular source material.  Except for the original source material (my daughter read the first book of Twilight,  I got through about 40 pages before I couldn't take it any longer).
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Morrigan on June 07, 2018, 09:13:39 pm
Whitefern - V.C. Andrews. This is the sequel to My Sweet Audrina, and i didn't think it could be worse. I was so very wrong.

Wait.

Just.....wait.


THERE WAS A SEQUEL??!!??

Oh my stars.....   :o :o ??? ??? :o :o

(I need a puking smiley.)

Yes - the sequel came out in 2016. I hoped it was better than the first - I love how I can try to think pleasant thoughts about books sometimes.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: GloryAndCrumpets on July 03, 2018, 06:02:47 pm
I can't believe I didn't think to mention this earlier, and it's probably too late for most people anyway but- Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Seriously, DO NOT READ THIS. If there was one book I could erase from my brain entirely, it would be this one. I love, love, love the Harry Potter books and this completely ruined everything about them. The characters that were back from the books were all terrible (not at all like themselves!), and lots of important characters I was curious about (like Luna and Neville) didn't make an appearance, although given how badly the other characters were botched, that might actually be a good thing. The plot was stupid and made absolutely no sense, the "twist" was ridiculous and actually kind of gross and everything about it was just bad, bad, bad. Frankly, I'm kind of appalled that J.K. Rowling signed off on it. The only thing I liked about it was the friendship between Harry's and Draco's sons. That was really sweet, but everything else was garbage and I refuse to consider any of it (except the aforementioned friendship) as canon. Again, I really wish I could just delete it from my brain because I feel like it's tainted all the original books for me and I hate it for that. Screw you, Cursed Child. Just...screw you.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Kimmers on July 03, 2018, 06:56:59 pm
I can't believe I didn't think to mention this earlier, and it's probably too late for most people anyway but- Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Seriously, DO NOT READ THIS. If there was one book I could erase from my brain entirely, it would be this one. I love, love, love the Harry Potter books and this completely ruined everything about them. The characters that were back from the books were all terrible (not at all like themselves!), and lots of important characters I was curious about (like Luna and Neville) didn't make an appearance, although given how badly the other characters were botched, that might actually be a good thing. The plot was stupid and made absolutely no sense, the "twist" was ridiculous and actually kind of gross and everything about it was just bad, bad, bad. Frankly, I'm kind of appalled that J.K. Rowling signed off on it. The only thing I liked about it was the friendship between Harry's and Draco's sons. That was really sweet, but everything else was garbage and I refuse to consider any of it (except the aforementioned friendship) as canon. Again, I really wish I could just delete it from my brain because I feel like it's tainted all the original books for me and I hate it for that. Screw you, Cursed Child. Just...screw you.

This 100%.  I couldn't agree more!
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: VorFemme on July 03, 2018, 09:31:23 pm
Look at it as Severus Potter's nightmares and the only part of the dreams that came true is that he did make friends with Scorpius...it's not a good explanation of what happened, but it's better than accepting the rest of it as actual events in canon.

It's a kid's nightmares as he wonders what school is going to be like and it gets so weird that he doesn't exist at some point and there is this horrible person born of horrible parents who does horrible things...

The only other part I liked was adult Harry and adult Draco talking a bit...poor Draco, he got assigned other Death Eaters' kids as "friends" instead of getting to make them on his own.  Wonder what might have happened if he'd ignored "the rules" while he was at school?
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: MariaE on July 04, 2018, 12:52:04 am
It reads like badly written fanfic, but I kinda liked it. I agree that I will never consider it canon though... but then, I don't consider the equally badly written epilogue canon either.

(On the other hand, there are some extremely well-written famfics out there that I do consider canon... so there, JKR!  ;D )
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: GloryAndCrumpets on July 04, 2018, 02:19:07 pm
It reads like badly written fanfic, but I kinda liked it. I agree that I will never consider it canon though... but then, I don't consider the equally badly written epilogue canon either.

(On the other hand, there are some extremely well-written famfics out there that I do consider canon... so there, JKR!  ;D )

I didn't have a problem with the epilogue (I don't quite get all the hate around it, actually), but in my head canon, Luna and Neville end up together. Come on Rowling, NOBODY CARES ABOUT HANNAH ABBOTT!
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Lynn2000 on July 04, 2018, 04:19:33 pm
Do NOT read "Wicked" by Gregory Maguire.

No matter how much you like the musical- which I hear is much better, even though overrated.

The book was horrendous. I still have not gone to see the musical- though I listened to the soundtrack- simply because the book was that awful.

I didn't care for the book either. I've never seen the musical, but I like folktales and stories based on them (which I think The Wizard of Oz counts as), so I thought I would give it a try. Also someone gave me the book as a present as she really loved it. I couldn't finish it. It was just weird, in a very slow and opaque way, and I didn't really understand what was happening a lot of the time.

Personally I was okay with Twilight--I've read all the books and own all the movies. But, as an adult, I like inappropriate vampire stories. I could see how it would be disturbing to have an actual teenage girl read the books and think it should all be taken seriously. I really thought Bella was going to turn out to have a brain tumor or something, though, and that would explain her hallucinations, the voices she heard, her bizarre behavior, etc.. The final book just took it all over the top into enjoyable Crazytown. But again, I think you have to be reading it with a smirk.

I didn't care for A Series of Unfortunate Events. I couldn't finish the first book because to me, it was just... a bunch of horrible things happening to innocent kids. I mean that's exactly what it was billed as, but I just couldn't find that entertaining. Same with Redwall--I knew it was about a bunch of anthropomorphic animals who have battles, but then I started reading and it's like, "It's a bunch of animals getting hurt and killed! No!"

For a while The Luxe series by Anna Godbersen was popular--kind of Gossip Girl but in the 1890s Gilded Age New York. The books are beautiful and fat, with lush ballgown-clad girls on the cover. But all the characters were very self-centered, even the "good" ones, and I felt there was just so much distance from all of them, I couldn't connect with any. Then you had the good girl in a secret physical relationship with a servant, and she wasn't the least bit worried or angsty about that--it just kind of lost all credibility at that point for me. Like it was so unbelievable in the setting that I actually thought it was a setup for a dream sequence or something.

I have to put in a plug for Philippa Gregory (The Other Boleyn Girl, etc.). I have read a lot of her books and have several more in my stack to read. They always follow the same pattern: partway through, I realize I hate all the characters, and wonder if I should keep reading. Then I remember I always have this reaction to her books, and I should just sit back and enjoy the characters getting their comeuppances.

I didn't care for the classics A Wizard of Earthsea or A Wrinkle in Time. To me they were both more talk than action, lots of vague philoso-babble, not much character development.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: whiterose on July 04, 2018, 04:43:51 pm
I love A Wrinkle In Time.

I like A Series of Unfortunate Events.

Earthsea was all right.

The Luxe was a guilty pleasure read. Fun to read on an airplane. I mainly read them because they were recommended for people who liked Samantha Parkington (from American Girl). But I do not regret reading them.

Twilight
is overrated. But I do not regret listening to the audiobooks either.

Haven't gotten around to reading anything by Philippa Gregory. But a couple years ago, a customer asked for "historical romance". The first suggestion I gave her was Outlander- and she refused, saying that it was "more sci-fi than history or romance"!!!
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: MariaE on July 05, 2018, 02:58:12 am
It reads like badly written fanfic, but I kinda liked it. I agree that I will never consider it canon though... but then, I don't consider the equally badly written epilogue canon either.

(On the other hand, there are some extremely well-written fanfics out there that I do consider canon... so there, JKR!  ;D )

I didn't have a problem with the epilogue (I don't quite get all the hate around it, actually), but in my head canon, Luna and Neville end up together. Come on Rowling, NOBODY CARES ABOUT HANNAH ABBOTT!

I wouldn't say I hate it, it was just so utterly unnecessary! It seemed like wish-fulfillment rather than a proper part of the book.
I totally see what you mean about Luna and Neville, though I've always thought Luna and Ron would make a cute couple too (because in my head canon Harry and Hermione end up together... another reason why the epilogue will never be canon to me).
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Kiwi Cupcake on July 05, 2018, 03:07:33 pm
It reads like badly written fanfic, but I kinda liked it. I agree that I will never consider it canon though... but then, I don't consider the equally badly written epilogue canon either.

(On the other hand, there are some extremely well-written fanfics out there that I do consider canon... so there, JKR!  ;D )

I didn't have a problem with the epilogue (I don't quite get all the hate around it, actually), but in my head canon, Luna and Neville end up together. Come on Rowling, NOBODY CARES ABOUT HANNAH ABBOTT!

I wouldn't say I hate it, it was just so utterly unnecessary! It seemed like wish-fulfillment rather than a proper part of the book.
I totally see what you mean about Luna and Neville, though I've always thought Luna and Ron would make a cute couple too (because in my head canon Harry and Hermione end up together... another reason why the epilogue will never be canon to me).

I wanted Hermione to end up with Victor Krum. I wouldn't even mind her ending up with one of the other Weasley brothers. I just don't see her and Ron as anything but buddies. Buddies that rag on each other at that.

Speaking of the Weasley brothers, I thought Bill and Fleur came out of nowhere even though I like both characters.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: thebushiestbeaver on July 15, 2018, 08:14:26 pm
I haven't read Cursed Child precisely because so many HP fans hated it. But the play is coming to Melbourne next year and I'm really waffling about seeing it. Tickets are going to be stupid expensive so if I hate it I'll feel ripped off but on the other hand...it's HP. What to do?
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: GloryAndCrumpets on July 17, 2018, 09:33:41 am
I haven't read Cursed Child precisely because so many HP fans hated it. But the play is coming to Melbourne next year and I'm really waffling about seeing it. Tickets are going to be stupid expensive so if I hate it I'll feel ripped off but on the other hand...it's HP. What to do?

DON'T DO IT!!! SAVE YOURSELF (and the money)!!!!!

It's not Harry Potter. It's really, really bad Harry Potter fanfiction.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Bad at Picking Usernames on July 17, 2018, 12:05:09 pm
I haven't read Cursed Child precisely because so many HP fans hated it. But the play is coming to Melbourne next year and I'm really waffling about seeing it. Tickets are going to be stupid expensive so if I hate it I'll feel ripped off but on the other hand...it's HP. What to do?

My brother, who hasn't read any Harry Potter and probably hasn't seen the movies, saw it in London and loved it. Apparently the production and the way they do stuff on stage is amazing.

It's a weird read though. I don't regret doing it and there are parts I liked, but it doesn't make a lot of sense.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: Kiwi Cupcake on July 17, 2018, 02:27:30 pm
I haven't read Cursed Child precisely because so many HP fans hated it. But the play is coming to Melbourne next year and I'm really waffling about seeing it. Tickets are going to be stupid expensive so if I hate it I'll feel ripped off but on the other hand...it's HP. What to do?

My brother, who hasn't read any Harry Potter and probably hasn't seen the movies, saw it in London and loved it. Apparently the production and the way they do stuff on stage is amazing.

It's a weird read though. I don't regret doing it and there are parts I liked, but it doesn't make a lot of sense.

I was also going to say I heard the stage production is quite the spectacle and they simply needed to throw together a story as an excuse for the play.

I think some things are meant to be seen instead of read (YMMV). For example, I get lost reading Shakespeare but understand completely when seeing one of the plays or movies.
Title: Re: DON'T READ THAT!!!
Post by: PeasInQueues on July 17, 2018, 03:51:24 pm
I've heard that if you mentally separate it from the Harry Potter universe and just see it as an independent play, it's quite good.

But, when you apply the characters, etc, you start to get pissed off.

So, if you're able to mentally compartmentalize them like that, I'd go see it