Polite Paradise

I guess I wouldn't think of it as drawing attention, because I wouldn't really notice someone else drinking water from a reusable bottle.   If there were a pitcher on the table I'd use that first, because it makes sense that the host put it there, but otherwise I wouldn't think about it further.

You're right, Lynn, about people commenting on it -- I do get that sometimes, and I just figure the person is either a jerk, or trying to make conversation in an awkward way.  I don't really worry about it.

If I'm eating at someone's house it's usually fairly casual, though, no particularly fancy glassware, so that might make a difference.

I don't like social gatherings at all. But I don't see the point of the shower if you aren't going to open the gifts then. I thought that was the whole purpose of the event. Some people find it boring, yeah, but what else would you be doing at a shower? As far as I'm concerned, the more time taken up with gift-opening, the less time there is for embarrassing games or awkward small talk.

Ah, that's probably the difference then -- I do like social gatherings, and most showers I've been to where we didn't open presents were conversational.  Either people chatting, or board games/card games, or musical james.  I've really enjoyed them.  For me, the time taken up by gift-opening means there's less time to meet new people or hang out with people who are already my friends.

Quote from: annikahansen on September 11, 2018, 07:52:10 pm

Quote from: Jem on September 11, 2018, 03:58:32 pm

I know for me, I have a great many jackets and it wouldn't occur to me that a person only had one so it wouldn't seem like an "emergency" in the sense of a cell phone or medication or something.

This would be my thinking. I have many jackets and fleeces, too. Had it been my house, I may have asked if it was really important or if I could bring it to the next meeting. She may have even thought she was saving you a trip to her house.

This is what I think, too, especially the bolded, as if you’d meant, “when can I get it out of your way?” And she’d meant, “oh, it’s no trouble — I’ll keep it for you til next time.”

Agree, I'm guessing she just didn't understand that you wanted it sooner. 

Quote from: Surly on May 30, 2018, 10:43:04 pm

Ah, I feel bad for the guy.  She said no diamonds, no sapphires, no pink -- he probably thought she was hoping for something really nontraditional.  It's definitely too big for an everyday ring, but I don't see why amber was such a terrible choice -- it does seem like he was looking for the opposite of what she said no to (diamonds, pink, blue).

I am so glad I've never had to choose jewellery for someone else!  I would have no idea how to do it.

I think in her shoes I'd focus on how it's impractical for an engagement ring -- too big and would get scratched (I didn't know that about amber).

I'm not a fan of engagement rings myself, or the concept of expecting something specific *and* expecting the other person to get it right.  I think if she could go back in time, it would have been better to say "I'm picky about rings, so please don't get me an engagement ring" or "I'm picky about rings but I would like an engagement ring that we choose together."

I don’t feel bad for the guy. She suggested that they looked for the ring together as her preference and he didn’t want to do that. Then he didn’t do any research to try and get a good match when he knows she has a certain style. I think it’s pretty reasonable for the proposee to express a desire to choose their own ring and he dismissed her feelings. I would be really hurt, not because of the materialistic side of it but I think it says bigger things.

My ex proposed to me. I had told him I don’t like diamonds and would never want a diamond ring. I’d also said I wasn’t ready just yet. He proposed with a diamond ring. That spoke volumes to me.

That's a good point, though I'm not sure we know that he didn't do any research -- she's assuming that, but it's possible he genuinely tried.  Or I may be giving him too much credit :-) 

I agree in a case where you specifically said no diamonds, and the guy proposes with diamonds, that's a pretty bad sign.  It does sound like this guy followed her instructions though -- no diamonds, pink, or blue.  So it's a bit different, potentially (hard to say without more info).

Ah, I feel bad for the guy.  She said no diamonds, no sapphires, no pink -- he probably thought she was hoping for something really nontraditional.  It's definitely too big for an everyday ring, but I don't see why amber was such a terrible choice -- it does seem like he was looking for the opposite of what she said no to (diamonds, pink, blue).

I am so glad I've never had to choose jewellery for someone else!  I would have no idea how to do it.

I think in her shoes I'd focus on how it's impractical for an engagement ring -- too big and would get scratched (I didn't know that about amber).

I'm not a fan of engagement rings myself, or the concept of expecting something specific *and* expecting the other person to get it right.  I think if she could go back in time, it would have been better to say "I'm picky about rings, so please don't get me an engagement ring" or "I'm picky about rings but I would like an engagement ring that we choose together."

Quote from: Surly on May 25, 2018, 04:14:10 pm

Quote from: Alyonka on May 25, 2018, 11:32:06 am

I'm in the middle of Margaret Atwood's Stone Mattress, having just finished (and really liked, which seems to be a fairly unpopular opinion) her The Heart Goes Last.

I also really enjoyed The Heart Goes Last!  It was absurd and fun. 

I have weird opinions on Atwood though -- my favourite of hers is Surfacing, which it seems most people haven't even *heard* of, and while I admire Handmaid's Tale, I didn't connect to it while reading it, and found it a bit of a slog (I may have been too young, and perhaps should read it again sometime).

I completely agree! Surfacing is my favorite, also (though I do kind of cringe when I recall the pretentious college paper I wrote about it...).

Oh that's too funny, I think I wrote a paper on it (or at least an essay on an exam) in university too.  Read it for a class called Philosophy and Canadian Literature.  I discovered so many favourite (and not-so-favourite) books in that class.

I'm in the middle of Margaret Atwood's Stone Mattress, having just finished (and really liked, which seems to be a fairly unpopular opinion) her The Heart Goes Last.

I also really enjoyed The Heart Goes Last!  It was absurd and fun. 

I have weird opinions on Atwood though -- my favourite of hers is Surfacing, which it seems most people haven't even *heard* of, and while I admire Handmaid's Tale, I didn't connect to it while reading it, and found it a bit of a slog (I may have been too young, and perhaps should read it again sometime).