Polite Paradise

I am bored and the hurricane derailed my weekend plans, so here is another "what if" scenario based on something that happened to me (though names and some details have been changed), as well as previous threads from the original site.

Jana was now on her third date with Kyle- and she was still not feeling any romantic chemistry. So she figured she would not be going out with him anymore- hey, some people give up after two dates. But at the end, Kyle declared his feelings for her- so Jana decided to keep trying. Kyle was her type, they had a lot in common, they got along great, and they were very compatible. Jana had not had the best of luck in romance- so she wondered if this glorified friendship may be able to meet her needs, even though it may not have been able to meet her wants.

So Jana kept dating Kyle- but her feelings did not change in either direction. She was not feeling a no- she was just not feeling a clear yes either, and she could not pinpoint out why. In all previous cases where lack of chemistry had been a problem, there was always something else- such as incompatibilities, or the timing being off. Kyle was Jana's type- but she was not attracted to him (although she was not repulsed by him either). They had a lot in common- but he did not intellectually stimulate her. They got along well- but she could not make an emotional romantic connection with him. They shared the same political, religious, moral, and ethical values- but she did not feel a spiritual bond with him. Kissing and holding hands with Kyle (and that is as far as they had gone- he respected her and shared her views in every way) did not make Jana's skin crawl- but it did not give her butterflies either. Jana would listen to love songs and wonder if she would ever feel that way for Kyle- or ever again. She was envious of friends who gushed about their romantic relationships- and wondered if this was as good as it would get for her.

A couple days after her fifth date with Kyle, Jana came across a chart of left and right brain traits. The list of left brain traits was an exact description of Kyle- and the list of right brain traits was everything Kyle was not! A lightbulb turned on inside Jana's mind- the lack of romantic chemistry was due to Kyle's lack of right brain traits!!! No wonder Jana could not connect with Kyle in any way. Even the lack of physical attraction could be explained by this- after all, the most important sexual organ is the brain. Jana realized this was why she was not feeling the same way for Kyle- and that she would never feel it, due to his being 100% left-brained. It did not prevent him from having a wonderful job, or from making and keeping friends- but Jana realized she was not the right woman for him.

For their sixth date- which was already scheduled- they would be going to the symphony. Since the concert hall was in between their houses, they would arrive separately and then go to the symphony, then later to a nearby cafe. Jana realized this gave her the perfect opportunity to end things with him in a public place.

But- how does Jana tell Kyle that it will not happen? After all, when he first declared his feelings for her, she had no clue why her feelings were not at that level- and in no way was she feeling a no, as in never. Since she never lied about her feelings, it was not leading him on. And they had only gone on five dates in the span of two months- and they were not referring to each other as boyfriend or girlfriend.

Should Jana tell Kyle that she needs somebody with more right brain traits? Should Jana focus on a specific right brain trait she does not have and say she needs someone who is really good with it? Should Jana simply say "I am not feeling it" or "I am not seeing any long term potential"- and given how left-brained Kyle is, he is likely to ask why and not simply take "I just don't". How should she word it without hurting his feelings? Jana had previously told her that he had done everything right and done nothing wrong, that there was nothing wrong with him, and that he was her type. But there is a big difference between something in his behavior (easily changed), his status (not so easy, but still changeable), and his essence (not changeable)- and his being so left-brained is definitely deep in Kyle's essence as a person. How should Jana word it?

Was there a major emergency?

If there was a change of plans, they should have noticed everyone by email or text. Not just verbally. Not just on one Facebook post. And they should have left a large sign stating the later start time- not to mention notify the venue staff.

No, we cannot order you items from Amazon (or any other online retail store) via the phone.

At first she was transferred to me because she wanted to learn how to "order movies" and lived near our branch. So I told her I could do it on the phone.

Nope- it was not from our catalog. She wanted to purchase some movies- not "rent" them.

I had other customers waiting (yes, at the library in front of me)- so I told her so and told her to come in person next week.

But we certainly are not middlepersons. We cannot even take credit card numbers via phone. I could not even locate the exact items she wanted- let alone order them.

She thought we could do everything for her. Sadly, we cannot.

I finally got around to reading Becoming by Michelle Obama.

The Mortal Instruments did not catch my attention after the first book. But I do not actively dislike it either. I just think it is just another book series that failed to hook me.

I like Rihanna better than Beyonce.

No matter how hard I try, I just cannot get into Supernatural.

You'd think it would be the kind of show I like- especially given how many people tell me I remind them of Castiel.

I have watched several episodes in several seasons- it still does nothing for me.

The best part by far is when they play "Carry On Wayward Son" on season finale recaps.

But then, I was not able to get into Dr. Who or Sherlock either.

I am not entirely sure why I have not been able to get into any of these shows. 

I dislike summer, avocados, and tattoos as well.

I like dogs. I just don't like brachycephalic dogs. I like dogs with long pointed snouts.

Cheesecake and cream cheese icing are fine.

All kinds of chocolate are fine with me. But if there are other desserts I like, such as carrot cake or apple pie, I may not necessarily get a chocolate dessert.

I am considering getting a hummingbird feeder for the tree behind my house. The HOA approved of it.

Anyone here have experience with them?

How about with birdseed feeders?