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Messages - HenrysMom

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Romantic Relationships and Sex / Re: When something's missing...how to explain it?
« on: September 29, 2019, 09:06:32 pm »
I personally think that it’d be better to be quick and to the point about breaking it off, without any of that left- or right-brain stuff.  Just a “You’re a great guy, but I’m just not feeling any chemistry.  Have a good life” then leave. Don’t give him any openings for a “but, we’re so compatible” or any other arguments.  Don’t waste any more time on something that is just not going anywhere.

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Family / Re: Dear Prudie: How long to wait for kids, etc.
« on: March 31, 2019, 05:12:49 pm »
Quote from: Lynn2000 on March 31, 2019, 12:47:16 pm
Re: the password thing, I wonder if one consideration is that in this scenario, the younger sisters have never had to pay for the service themselves, or been in a situation where they were expected to (like, pay for it myself or I don't have it). Often you value things more if you see the bite it takes out of your budget each month. Like how kids leave the water running and the lights on when they don't understand how that usage adds up. In this case, an extra person using Netflix wouldn't change the cost per month, but if all these extra people are trying to watch at the same time, they will block access to the people in the actual household.

Another thought--I just have the one Netflix password. So if ex-boyfriend Charlie has the household Netflix password, it's not just that he can watch it on his TV, he could also mess with the account--change the billing settings, delete "my list," etc.. He could even use that power to disconnect all the devices, that is, the paying household's, and change the password so ONLY he can watch it. If the bill still goes to the letter-writer, she could stop paying it and that would cut him off, but what a mess that would be! So you actually have two issues here, unfair usage and also compromised security.

As for kids/no kids: I think people have to decide on their dealbreakers for a relationship. This lady is absolutely clear in her own mind that she wants kids, but she has NOT been good about communicating that to her last two partners. That is, she might THINK she has clearly told them what she wants, BUT her actions belie that, as she has continued to stay with them and build a solid life with each despite NOT getting reciprocal enthusiasm on the subject. That is fine if we're talking about a hobby that mostly only affects one person--you don't have to LOVE your partner's commitment to quilting, you just have to accept it and put up with it--but it's simply not healthy to be that way about having children. I think the main problem is that she doesn't SEE that her partners ARE replying to her, and they are saying, "No, not really." I think having kids is one of those issues where both people have to be at about the same level of enthusiasm, and you should have no doubt about that before you even get to the point of trying.

I totally did this to the Netflix account after my marriage broke up.  The difference was that the monthly fee was being charged to my credit card, so I felt justified in calling Netflix and completely blocking him from the account.  Did that with a few other things as well - I’m sure that cheating SOB was quite surprised when he found out how much I actually controlled. 

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General Discussion / Re: The "Unpopular Opinions" Thread
« on: March 10, 2019, 08:55:21 pm »
So, changing the subject, I think cheesecake is the most despicable dessert ever created by man. 

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General Discussion / Re: Ongoing grocery delivery thread
« on: February 22, 2019, 02:12:37 pm »
Quote from: lowspark on February 22, 2019, 01:02:57 pm
Quote from: Lynn2000 on February 22, 2019, 12:09:37 pm
So I wonder if, occasionally, people scan a barcode on the shelf below the product display, confirm it's correct, then grab the first product in the display and chuck it into the cart--and if someone else has put a package of chicken back in the wrong place, and the shopper doesn't notice the difference, they end up bringing me chicken when I asked for tuna.

That is probably feedback you should give them. The shopper should be scanning the item, not the shelf. Shelf pricing is quite often misaligned in addition to items just being put randomly where they don't belong. It happens to me a lot where I see the shelf item name and price, and then look above that and see a different product. Of course, I'm shopping for myself and am taking my time to make sure I'm getting what I want but if you're in a hurry as I'm sure these shoppers are, grabbing the item without further examination is going to cause mistakes to happen.

I could see that happening - shopper grabs (tuna) packets, scans first one three times, tosses in cart.

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General Life / Re: Dear Prudie: Men don't wash dishes, and angry neighbor
« on: February 19, 2019, 02:27:15 am »
I agree with all of you with #1 - if you host, you host.  It’s rude to expect/demand help with prep or cleanup, but if it’s offered, accept or decline.  It’s that simple.

As to #2, yes, 7 is old enough for a child to understand to stay away from a house or area.  Parent needs to do his/her job.

Story time:  When I was around 5, my mother and the next door neighbor had a falling out, which resulted in the neighbor turning the hose on us kids every time she saw us, even if we were on the sidewalk or in our own yard.  The day I entered kindergarten I was specifically told not to go past the neighbor’s house, even if it meant going the longer way home, and that’s what I did for 5 years. 

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Work Issues / Re: Church firing dilemma
« on: February 19, 2019, 02:12:24 am »
Quote from: Lynn2000 on February 18, 2019, 10:36:10 am
Yeah, what bugs me is that they had a problem (rumors surrounding the first firing), and they obviously recognized that they had a problem and brainstormed ways to solve it... and their solution was terrible. Like, not just "not well implemented" or "went wrong due to something they couldn't control," but it was just plain a bad idea. So that tells me you've got people who are thinking and noticing and willing to change, but have terrible judgment. And that could be worse overall than people who don't notice/aren't willing to change, you know? It seems to me like the sort of environment where you're loved one day and fired the next, or funded one day and dropped the next, or spend all your effort on one project only to be told that it was canned at the last board meeting, or something like that. Makes it really hard for people to commit themselves to the work, if they don't feel like the admins have their back.

What makes it worse is that it’s a church, where one would or should expect better resolution/handling of these types of situations.

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General Discussion / Re: Ongoing grocery delivery thread
« on: February 17, 2019, 04:59:13 am »
I glanced over the thread, and totally sympathized with you about the delivery person commenting on your decor. My apartment is anime central (wasn’t allowed to have any of “that stuff” by the Ex, so I’ve overcompensated), so I get comments all the time.  But when the first thing ones sees is a giant Coach Mickey Mouse and a 3-ft Godzilla, I guess one has to say something.

The Hub is a major pain, because the nearest parking lot is small and constantly full, so it’s useless to even drive over there.  But it seems to be the wave of the future, especially for apartment dwellers.

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Wedding Etiquette / Re: Care & Feeding: Paying for the wedding
« on: February 15, 2019, 03:40:49 pm »
FOB should simply say to the in-law’s “those who write the check makes the rules,” and let the chips fall. 

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General Discussion / Re: Ongoing grocery delivery thread
« on: February 15, 2019, 02:46:40 pm »
Lynn2000, you’ve hit upon the one thing that bugs me about Instacart - that we can’t specify our delivery person.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to tell the delivery person not to park in the gated lot - they could get towed and it’s clear on the other side of the building from my place.  Yet, even with clear directions to park on the street and go to the center pedestrian gate, they keep trying to get in the lot.  If we could specify “I want Jane B or John C ,” it’d save a lot of trouble, because they’d know.  Finally had to take a picture of the gate and building to send to the person every time.

The Hub is an Amazon-based central location to pick up packages.  You enter a code into a screen, and the locker the package is in magically pops open.  The one where I live is clear on the other side of the complex, and with a bad back and knee, getting over there is a weird and wonderful experience.

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Family / Re: PSA: Racists are always racists
« on: February 15, 2019, 03:56:20 am »
In the 21st century, this is still going on, which I find appalling.

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General Life / Re: Bringing unsharable consumables to someone's home
« on: February 15, 2019, 03:47:02 am »
Because I consume mass quantities of Diet Coke in certain situations, I always try to bring at least a 6– or 12-pack to someone’s house.  I did that once to a friend’s party and she took offense.  I told her that I didn’t want to exhaust her supply because of my bad habit.  After she saw how many cans I pounded down (it was summer), she got over her mad. 

As far as serving utensils and containers go, that’s what the 99-cent store is for.  That way, I never have to concern myself with losing anything of value, because it’s a pain to lose one’s good stuff.

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General Discussion / Re: Ongoing grocery delivery thread
« on: February 15, 2019, 03:38:36 am »
I’m surprised that the organic bananas and not-turkey pepperoni got through without them notifying you - it usually pops up as a text when they have to substitute something for you to approve it. 

I’m surprised your building doesn’t have a Hub - it seems to be the trend, albeit a rather annoying one (as far as I’m concerned).

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General Discussion / Re: Ongoing grocery delivery thread
« on: February 10, 2019, 12:30:12 am »
I don’t know why you’re having so much trouble with Instacart - it’s been nothing but a godsend to me.  Same day delivery, everything correct, able to be in constant communication with my shopper - all that and they’re all so nice and helpful.  I do have to let them in the building, but they don’t quibble about carrying the stuff inside my apartment.   I do tip them 20%, so could that be a factor?

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