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Messages - Crispycritter

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1
Updates and Announcements / Re: Hello? Hello?
« on: January 09, 2020, 07:26:03 pm »
Hi out there!

2
Wedding Etiquette / Re: 3:30 pm wedding starts at 5 pm
« on: June 18, 2019, 08:12:33 am »
I'd say to just hope for a comment about it in the thank you note.  Or look on facebook and see if someone else has already asked about it.  If you did ask someone - I'd go with the thought of how you don't understand why you
"misunderstood" the time and don't want to make that "mistake" again in the future.

3
Wedding Etiquette / Re: 3:30 pm wedding starts at 5 pm
« on: June 17, 2019, 08:57:23 pm »
I would only be ok with that 1 1/2 hour (!!) delay if it was due to some unforeseen circumstances that made it impossible to avoid, and I would expect/hope for an apology or some explanation.  If only when you arrived for the 3:30 wedding, someone had taken the time to have a left a note with the bartender, or a good friend to be there and explain/apologize on behalf of the bride and groom - anything!  I once went to a wedding that accidentally put the wrong address down for the venue.  They pretty much got a hold of each and every invited guest before the big day - but just to be sure, they also posted a note at the wrong address (a different section of the park in a pavilion) the mix up and where to go from there. 

I also avoid driving at night if at all possible, and it is understandable that you needed to leave.  I hate having to be overbooked and not being able to just go with the flow - in a couple of months I have two weddings to go to on the same day.  I don't know what time either will be, so if something like an hour and a half late start were to happen - I might be in the same boat as you. 

4
One of the best work related things that happened to me was making a good friend.  I was in outside sales and was making calls with our new manager.  She was telling me about a new hire (Karen) that wasn't meeting expectations in her job.  She hadn't seen it herself, but was being told about it from others in that branch.   A long list of grievances from how Karen dressed to her arriving late to the office (we didn't have set times to be in the office - many days we didn't even go in), and many little things she was doing wrong with her paperwork.  Most of the things were absolutely trivial and could be easily corrected with just a small meeting.  The manager also told me that Karen would be getting put on probation for all of these issues and that the manager was doing a surprise visit on her the very next day.

I didn't like this, it wasn't my business to hear about it, and the whole thing reminded me too much of how I had been treated in other jobs.  So I called Karen that evening and warned her about the surprise visit for the next day.  We went over each and every point that she needed to be on spot for.  I knew that it was quite a risk to take and could mean the end of my job, but it wasn't a great job imo anyway.  The manager showed up, and Karen was there 1/2 hour early, dressed in a suit, with her sales binder in perfect order.  Karen and I became good friends and stayed friends for many many years. 

5
For those of you who sell stuff on line, how do you do it?

We do craigslist or ebay and offer the item for whatever we see other similar items priced at.  If nobody responds, we usually pull the item and then relist in a week or so at a lower price (or just relist it).   Things that are too big and not worth much due to condition we put up for free on Craigslist and usually are gone in a day. 


6
Organizing stuff is the least important aspect of her methods.  In her book she tells about her different attempts to organize her stuff.  Stuff is the issue.   Actually - I should say stuff you don't even like is the issue.




7
Books / Re: What are you reading?
« on: May 07, 2019, 08:53:57 pm »
I love witch/elf books, similar to the Charlaine Harris (sp?) ones.  "Would be Witch" and "Barely Bewitched" by Kimberly Frost are what I'm currently reading.  Finished the first one and am almost done with the second.  It is a series and I'll most likely be able to borrow the rest of them soon.  If you are into that kind of easy reading (and fae!) then you would like the these.

Just finished "Captivate" and it was really great.  It is a self help book about how to talk to people.  It is by Vanessa Van Edwards and she studies people and runs seminars, websites, etc.  I actually only made it halfway through before it expired on my kindle loan from the library and they "stole" it back.  So I now have to wait to get it again.  Worthwhile reading for anyone who wants to make better first impressions, talk to people, or just understand better why some people seem to be liked immediately while others just don't seem to fit in.  I really like the section about how you can figure out why you aren't able to get along with someone at work!!  I wish that I'd have known a lot of this when I was young!

8
Definitely not for everyone, but I'd say to watch the rest of that episode and see the overwhelming thank you's the homeowner's give.  I forget which family was the first one - but all of them were truly grateful in the end.   There was one family with a couple of kids whose home had my shoulders up to my ears - they reminded me too much of me!!

I had written out a lot more, but deleted it because it isn't for everyone!!  That's ok!! 

9
Wedding Etiquette / Re: Too late to invite?
« on: May 06, 2019, 07:54:57 am »
Sounds like it worked out fine.

So this comment is moot, but anyway in my opinion it would've been fine to invite Max and Odette and not other extended family members.  Everyone seems to know that they have a very close relationship.  It's the situation that we often talk about where it's not cool to invite 10 out of 12 cousins, but it's fine to invite 1 of 12. 

[On this board, do I have to put in the standard "assuming no dysfunctionality" disclaimer?   :)  ]

I don't think so!!  Comment away!!

10
Family / Re: Dealing with dementia
« on: April 28, 2019, 10:43:25 am »
I worked in an assisted living place for about a year, long ago.  They had residents with some degrees of dementia, but when/if it became unsafe for them then they had to move to a higher care place.  I have a lot of patience and respect for the elderly, and could oftentimes help to keep them happy and calm.  Just holding their hand can really help, if they are ok with it.  Most reached for my hand by the second time I cared for them.  There is a poem (can't remember the title or much of it) but it is about looking into an older person's eyes and seeing them, that they are a person that used to be a little boy or girl, they were a wife, a mother, a daughter, etc.  I admire all of you for being so caring and making such an effort to be kind.


11
I read ask a manager a lot, and wondered if any of you have interesting stories to tell from your work. 

I've had many many outlandish things happen either to me or to someone that I worked with.  For example, I had a boss that hated me with every cell of her being.  She wrote me up for anything and everything that she could - and yet she didn't have the power to actually fire me.  I would have quit, but was way too stubborn to give her the satisfaction. 

What was sort of funny about it was that each punishment that she could dole out to me ended up working out in my favor.  I was given the "problem" account that nobody could get the order right for.  It was a definite land mine where you just could not do the job.  Well - due to a dear coworker in a different department that had overheard a lot of the vicious gossip about me and decided to watch out for me - that account became my best and favorite part of the day. 

I ended up getting a bonus, extra vacation and a company wide letter sent out about my accomplishment from the president of the company.  Ha!  Boss was green over it.  And you would have thought that I would begin to be treated better by her??  Nope, she kept on trying.  I have many more stories about that job than I should for the 3 years I worked there. 

12
Updates and Announcements / Re: Are We Circling the Drain?
« on: April 27, 2019, 02:00:06 pm »
I agree that we need to not fear starting up a new thread - and if we see anyone getting abused will step in.  Most of the time when I start a thread, it just fizzles out - but that isn't such a bad thing, it just might be that there isn't a lot to discuss about it. 

13
You should!  What I liked about the show and the book was that she didn't go by the "get rid of x-many items today" style of decluttering/purging. I've tried that and it works sort of, but isn't calming or sustainable.   She has a system and an order to go through, and it works.   It isn't the amount of stuff that is the main issue (although that gets pared down - a lot), it is whether or not you are keeping something that you don't even like.  Most of us have that sweater or shirt that we never wear, basically don't like, but yet there it is in our closet.  That sweater would be an example of what would be given away.  I have another sweater that I've never worn in 8 years - but I love it and so it stays (and I'm going to wear it in the fall).  That is the test, does it spark joy?  Then it stays.

I found using her method to be very soothing and also very effective.  What a difference it has made.  I no longer have to put away or get out the next season's clothing.  It all fits and is organized.  Next December - my Christmas sweaters?  bottom cube in my closet. 

14
I wondered if anyone else is following the Kon Mari approach by Marie Kondo?  I watched the series on Netflix and fell in love with it/her.  Also read her book about it and have done most of my house - purged, reorganized & cleaned.  It has made such a difference.  Just the way she says to fold your clothes - I can now open a dresser drawer and see everything!  All together I got rid of about 35 garbage bags of stuff - most went to goodwill.  My home wasn't imo that cluttered - it was only when you opened a closet or went into my basement storage spot that you were in any danger of a landslide.  I haven't had even one item where I felt remorseful afterwards.

What I've found that has also made a big difference is what I don't bring in anymore.  Before if I saw something really cute for the holidays, I would often get it - now, I just admire it in the store and walk away.  I know that in a year or two it won't be something that I'll still want.  And I used to buy something just because it was on sale & could definitely be useful.  No more.  If I don't really need it, I don't buy it. 




15
General Life / Re: Issue With My House Cleaner
« on: April 24, 2019, 07:55:10 am »
I used to clean houses on the side when I was just out of college.  What I found was that I tended to fall into a routine and would end up just cleaning the same things every time while not moving on to other areas - such as under heavy furniture or windows, etc.  One client would leave me a list of a few extras to do if I had time within the afternoon.  This worked out really well and oftentimes I did get the extras done.  There wasn't extra money, as I was paid a flat rate for the cleaning, but it still got done as I had gotten the house to the point where baseboards (for example) in the beginning had to be actually washed down, but now just got a quick dusting and were fine. 

Your home should also begin to be easier for her to clean now.  So start asking for a few extras that wouldn't take a lot of time.  For really time or effort consuming tasks, leave those for a whole extra day where your cleaner just does those.  Steam cleaning, deep cleaning, that is a whole different day. 

As for the flat rate for the four hours, I wouldn't worry about it if she is getting the job done - but I'd bet that she isn't hustling as much as she did in the beginning.  There is nothing wrong (imo) with dropping by during her cleaning time.  It is your house.  I cleaned for a woman that followed me from room to room.  She never took her eyes off of me.  It was weird at first, but I got used to it.  I didn't do a better job for her than for those who left me alone, but it made her feel better to know what I was doing I guess (or she was lonely).

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