Polite Paradise

I'm looking for ideas for what to wear to the upcoming wedding of my cousin's daughter.

It's going to be next month in a very hot, humid climate (Southern US). The venue is a large historical farmhouse loaned by some other relatives. It's very rural. The bride is a recent college grad and the invitations were handmade, so I'm assuming there's going to be a somewhat Pinterest-y country-chic vibe.

The ceremony is at 6pm with the reception following. Evening wedding indicates more formal, but it's going to be HOT. I checked out the Google Earth view of the venue, and it looks like we'll probably be parking in the pasture and hiking up a gravel drive to the house (or possibly the barn). I'm planning to wear wedges.

Some other relevant info - I'm a tall, chubby lady in my 40's. I'm fine with showing my arms, but nobody wants to see my knees.

My fallback dress is going to be a maxi I already have, but the fabric is on the stiff side and doesn't breathe well. I think I will be too sweaty.

I'm looking at something like this. It's also synthetic, but appears to be more on the drapey knit side, which seems like it would be cooler.  https://www.thredup.com/product/women-new-york-and-company-casual-dress/41602260

But I'm open to suggestions!

I would also recommend a wrap or light cardigan, maybe something you can stuff into your purse--one or more of the venues might be over-air-conditioned to offset the weather outside.

I think for a Southern, summer, barn wedding, a nice maxi dress is a great idea. Something in a bright color or print that might seem out of place at a more formal event. Like this "casual dress" from the same company seems too formal to me:
https://www.thredup.com/product/women-new-york-and-company-casual-dress/41167939

Also, definitely pick good shoes! If you are parking in a pasture, it could turn muddy if there is recent rain, and hiking up a gravel drive is not for anything delicate or wobbly. The wedges sound fine if you are comfortable in them. But, as STiG said, cowboy books or nice ankle boots would not be out of place and would also be practical. I would definitely sacrifice dressy shoes for more solid ones if I had to walk on a lot of grass/mud and gravel.

I really, really love this dress: https://www.venus.com/viewproduct.aspx?BRANCH=7~72~&ProductDisplayID=58246

I see that you are on the tall side, however, so it might be too short for you to comfortable in without pants--though I say, the heck with your knees, show em! They are nobody's business but yours. It's lightweight, nothing that will cling to your body and very pretty. Priced right too.

That's cute but would barely cover my butt. I don't care what other people think of my knees, but anything above the knee is gonna become a shirt if I dance or sit down.

But I like the site, I'll browse around, thanks for the suggestion!

I think that the dress on the website looks great!  But I also wanted to say that I've been seeing women in dresses that stop above the knee with a black sheer overlay that goes to the floor.  The dress beneath is barely visible.  I'm not sure where they are getting them (I don't shop much), but the women were from the south in US.  They paired the dress with fancy strappy sandals, one was in basically flip flops - but beautiful ones in metallic.  I wish that I had a dress like it!

I love the dress you linked to!  It looks perfect to me.

I find I am actually cooler sometimes in long pants/skirts and sleeves, if it's a loose, thin fabric.  I had to dress that way when we were working in India, because my legs and shoulders always had to be covered, and I was afraid I'd be hot, but it actually kept me cool.  Another trick I often use is to keep a very big, thin scarf with me to drape over my shoulders if the sun is blazing.  Bring a pretty fan, too; you'll be glad.

I would recommend sticking to linen or cotton rather than synthetics. They'll get clammy in the heat. Maybe a long sundress? And definitely no booties or boots, because you'll cook. Flat sandals would be safer.

I Facebooked my cousin to ask whether the event is more traditional/formal or more contemporary - I avoided using the word "hipster" but said something like country-chic.

She said "that's a good question, I'll ask" and hasn't got back to me. Which is a bit of a head-scratcher, because I thought she was very involved in the planning, and it's less than a month away.

I've been doing more online shopping and am leaning toward a calf-length infinity wrap dress. There's a couple of brands that do lightweight cotton knit, but you can really dress them up or down a lot with accessories. And they look good on nearly any body type.

I just really hate shopping and trying on clothes, so if I can stay out of the stores, I win!

Cousin replied, "not too formal, just a Sunday go-to-meetin' dress."

So yeah, I'm on the right track- a nice daytime dress, not too beachy.

(My cousin doesn't really use phrases like that in real life, it's a jokey idiom.)