If the couple calls off the wedding and just elopes, though, after guests have purchased airline tickets, arranged their schedules around the wedding, perhaps turned down other invitations and passed on other vacation plans — well, if I were a guest, let’s just say I would’t think, “Oh, how nice, so romantic!” I’d be pretty annoyed and wonder whether they were mature enough to get married at all if they would be that inconsiderate.
I think my first thought (on the basis of having hung out here and on a similar venue we're all familiar with!) is that "Wow, they must have some toxic sludge going on in their family if last minute elopement and dealing with the fall out from that is the way they want to go!"
Right, I didn't mean to sound unsympathetic or as if my only or even my first concern would be for myself. If it were because something awful happened, and because of that they just went to City Hall instead of having the wedding as planned, that would be one thing, and I'd only be worried about them. Certainly if they called the whole marriage off, as happened to my friend. Of course I wasn't thrilled about having spent $$ on a nonrefundable airline ticket, but all I felt was sorry for her.
I was envisioning something like "Wow, I hate all this fuss, the bridesmaids are having a drama I don't have time for, and my family is really getting on my nerves; I'm so sorry we planned a big wedding. What do you say, Honey -- let's just fly off to Vegas, just the two of us, instead? I'm sure everyone will just think it's
so romantic!" once the invitations have already gone out and people have made their plans. That to me would be super inconsiderate. Even if things had gotten to the point where the couple wasn't enjoying things or felt like they'd bitten off more than they could chew. At that point, they've invited people who have arranged their schedules and spent money. It's like if they invited people to a dinner party and then the day before realized they'd invited more people and planned a more complicated menu than they could easily pull off. It would be rude and inconsiderate to call it off for those reasons; you just simplify what you can and do your best.