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Author Topic: Plus one- yes or no?  (Read 413 times)

Offline maksi

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Re: Plus one- yes or no?
« Reply #15 on: October 16, 2018, 05:24:43 am »
Maybe it's just me, but this sounds like the happy couple feels like they should pay for a "playdate" for Daphne so that she wouldn't feel alone as the only single guest...

In any case, in agreement with PP's: just ask her if she's bringing anyone. Please don't tell her that she's the only single guest. She's a grown woman, so I'm sure it's not the first time, and it's not a situation she can't deal with.

I'd pay more attention to seating etc. so that the guest(s) arriving alone would be in the company of people they already know or something similar.
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Offline whiterose

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Re: Plus one- yes or no?
« Reply #16 on: October 16, 2018, 08:39:46 am »
Transportation will not be an issue for Daphne.

Greta just wanted to know the protocol and etiquette of having a plus one for just one person, plus what else needs to be paid for by the couple regarding this.
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Offline Jem

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Re: Plus one- yes or no?
« Reply #17 on: October 16, 2018, 09:24:07 am »
Quote from: maksi on October 16, 2018, 05:24:43 am
Maybe it's just me, but this sounds like the happy couple feels like they should pay for a "playdate" for Daphne so that she wouldn't feel alone as the only single guest...

In any case, in agreement with PP's: just ask her if she's bringing anyone. Please don't tell her that she's the only single guest. She's a grown woman, so I'm sure it's not the first time, and it's not a situation she can't deal with.

I'd pay more attention to seating etc. so that the guest(s) arriving alone would be in the company of people they already know or something similar.

I agree, especially with the bolded. On some level, bringing a plus one if she is not in an established relationship could induce more stress for everyone. Especially for such a small wedding, I would ask Daphne if she would like to bring a date, and leave it at that.

I am thinking back to my single days and I would have felt super-awkward inviting someone I was not in a relationship with to a small wedding. A large party atmosphere wedding, perhaps, but a small intimate wedding, no. It feels "pressurey" and I would prefer to just go by myself and support the people who invited me rather than feel I needed to focus on entertaining my "date" who doesn't know anyone and whom I barely know myself.
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Offline Lynn2000

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Re: Plus one- yes or no?
« Reply #18 on: October 16, 2018, 10:13:30 am »
Quote from: whiterose on October 16, 2018, 08:39:46 am
Transportation will not be an issue for Daphne.

Greta just wanted to know the protocol and etiquette of having a plus one for just one person, plus what else needs to be paid for by the couple regarding this.

Well, in a different situation I could see this being a concern. Like if it was a medium-sized wedding, and plus-ones were not extended to anyone in order to keep numbers down, BUT the couple wanted to make an exception for the only single member of the wedding party, someone they are especially close to. So in that case, one person would be getting a plus-one but others (who might want one) are not--I could see having questions about that.

But in this case it sounds like literally no one else on the whole guest list would even be eligible for a plus-one, as they are all married except for Daphne. So it doesn't seem like anyone should get their nose out of joint, if that's the concern. Like, a happily married couple who are both attending the wedding--why would they WANT a plus-one? Unless there are some unusual relationship dynamics like polyamory, or some couple wants to bring a buddy to go shopping/play golf with during the downtime, or they are bringing their minor children and one child wants to bring a friend, or something like that.

So in this case I think Greta and Lars are making the right call, and have nothing to worry about. Any griping about Daphne getting a plus-one would reflect badly on the griper, and not on the couple.
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Offline STiG

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Re: Plus one- yes or no?
« Reply #19 on: October 16, 2018, 03:01:04 pm »
Since there aren't any other single people invited, it is doubtful that someone would gripe about a plus one for Daphne.

I still think Greta should speak to Daphne.  Let her know that she is welcome to bring a date, if she'd like, but if she'd prefer to bring her sister or a mutual friend, etc. so as to have company for the drive, she's welcome to do that, too.

I was invited to a friend's wedding, with a plus one.  I wasn't going to bring anyone because I wasn't dating anyone.  The bride then suggested I bring a friend, if I wanted to.  Which worked out perfectly; I brought a friend of mine who knew the bride, too, but was further removed and wasn't going to be invited, otherwise.
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Offline Kiwi Cupcake

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Re: Plus one- yes or no?
« Reply #20 on: October 16, 2018, 03:43:47 pm »
Even if transportation is an issue, I don't think the HC is obligated to pay for a room.

They can arrange for Daphne to ride with another guest, or help figure out something. But paying for a room is over the top. Adults manage their own lives and that includes what to do if they don't/can't drive.

As of now, it doesn't sound like Daphne has said anything about the HC paying for her date. Treat this plus-one like normal guests at weddings which normally does not include paying for their room.
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Offline Winterlight

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Re: Plus one- yes or no?
« Reply #21 on: October 18, 2018, 09:46:05 pm »
I would give her the option and leave it at that. She might feel more comfortable with someone else there, or she might not feel the need for a plus one. Let her decide.
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