Polite Paradise

I need to understand the parents that raised these monsters. Are they ashamed? When their children publicly show themselves to be such dinks, do the parents get embarrassed? Do the parents have siblings or parents that are calling them and saying, "Hey, WTF is up with Susan? Are you supporting this nonsense?"  If my niece did this, I'd be on the phone to my sister faster than you can imagine. And, I know that these are adults and the parents aren't "the boss of them" anymore. But, presumably the parents are kicking in some cash. I don't imagine you grow up to be this much an entitled brat and then have parents that aren't kicking in for your wedding.

Seriously! How do people get like this.

Also, if I was friends with the second woman, I probably would have RSVP'd YES! to both Thailand and Hawaii. Both are on my to do list anyway and I love a destination wedding. But, once I saw that post, I would have commented under it, "Please change my Yes to a No. We can't make it now. Don't worry about deleting me. I'll take care of it for you." And then I'd add a kissy face and an eff you emoji.

Let's face it, entitled people act that way because it works for them enough of the time to be repeated. I think with a lot of entitled people, it probably starts out small, and the people close to them just get used to it--like the frog in the pot of slowly heating water. When you have a wedding situation--where the culture creates this pressure and expectation that can warp even normal people--the entitled people just ramp it up. To their parents/partner, it may seem like normal behavior for THEM, or at least not outrageous. But when outsiders, who are invited to weddings and tend to hear about the details in advance, hear the litany of demands, they're rightly horrified.

My mom's hairdresser had 3 daughters who caused her no end of drama, from high school sports to weddings. The woman constantly complained about it, but then went ahead and did stuff that either rewarded the entitlement or further fueled the drama, rather than responding sensibly by, say, backing off. I mentioned one situation in another thread--I can't remember the details now, but it was something like, the bride decided on the venue and the mom made a reservation and put in a non-refundable down payment, and then the bride changed her mind and the mom had to cancel and lose her money. And this happened multiple times. After the first cancellation I would've said, "No pressure, have the wedding you want, but I'm not putting any more money down. You pay upfront and I'll reimburse you after the wedding." (assuming the mom really wanted to contribute) At a certain point, the parents/others close to the entitled person are really just enabling them or egging them on, even if they don't consciously realize it. I don't think you can be entitled in a vacuum.

And another one...

from r/ChoosingBeggars

Rules and regulations?! Yeah, I'd be changing my RSVP ASAP to a big NO.

And another one...

from r/ChoosingBeggars

Crazy bride and illiterate wedding planner. And who toasts with hard liquor?

I haven't seen hard liquor poured specifically for a toast, but often I see people toast with whatever they happen to be drinking.  Now that I think of it, I don't recall seeing anything poured specifically for a toast.  Usually there is a cocktail period, either full or semi-full bar or just wine and beer and soft drinks, and then at dinner usually there is wine offered, but often the bar stays open through the whole evening, so some people get another cocktail, and others have brought theirs in from the cocktail hour.  When the toasts happen, you just use whatever you're already drinking.

I'd rather toast with vodka than champagne because I can't tolerate fizzy drinks well.