Polite Paradise

I think something like this came up on Ask A Manager, and one suggestion was that there was a monthly 'all the May birthdays' do. It didn't need to be big, maybe just a half hour coffee break with doughnuts, and 'this month, happy birthday to Free Range Hippy Chick, myfamily, and Billia (polite applause)'.

We did this at a former workplace. At the end of the month, we'd get together in the break room, sing happy birthday to everyone who'd had one that month, and grab a slice of terrible grocery store cake before heading back to our desks. It never took more than 10 minutes. It was quite joyless and perfunctory, but everyone was acknowledged. "Celebration" would be the wrong word, though.

I'm conflict-averse, buuuuut I'd probably bring in treats for my own birthday and openly tell people to go get some of the birthday cake I brought for myself!

Celebrating your own birthday, AND bringing slavery and cannibalism to the office?? 

Snark aside, I like this idea. This is one of of the things that in the grand scheme of the business is not a big deal, but at the same time, it is. Could maybe all the peons from the same birthday month be celebrated? We did this at my previous company, which was so cliquish it reeked of a high school hallway.  This way, those who wanted to be big and important could be, and those of us who wanted to grab treats and hide at our desks could.

I agree with the sentiment from another post--if this was a cost-saving measure, why couldn't anyone just say so, and stay consistent? My guess is that someone ruined it for everyone somehow (which also happened at my old company in other respects) and that there is some disagreement, so certain parties get a pass, but not all.

Office aside, if possible, I recommend celebrating birthdays at a bar (if appropriate for the group) or restaurant after work. There, it's an even playing field.

My office has a monthly cake day. It’s a full on morning tea with several cake and savoury pastry options. There’s way too many people to do individual celebrations.

My current workplace is fairly small, and not everyone likes to celebrate their birthday. So instead of making a big deal out of birthdays (which I usually do, as birthdays are a big deal in my family), I just pick up a cake or cookies or something, or bake something and bring it to the office. We have a 'It's Friday! Cookie Day' or "It's a Quiet Tuesday Cake Day.' We still get treats, but everyone gets to participate.

This is a couple months old, but I only came across it recently and it made me think of this thread. What is it about birthdays that seems to bring out the worst in so many workplaces? http://www.askamanager.org/2018/01/i-paid-for-fake-references-is-it-rude-to-shush-someone-and-more.html (Letter No. 3).

Quote from: GloryAndCrumpets on June 22, 2018, 12:46:34 pm

This is a couple months old, but I only came across it recently and it made me think of this thread. What is it about birthdays that seems to bring out the worst in so many workplaces? http://www.askamanager.org/2018/01/i-paid-for-fake-references-is-it-rude-to-shush-someone-and-more.html (Letter No. 3).

Someone took a Gilbert & Sullivan musical and set it in an office?

I'd be worried about child labor laws if I were them...

I just have to tell you the story of my birthday celebration at an old job years ago.  I might have told this on the old forum - sorry if it is familiar I can't remember! 

That year my birthday fell on a Saturday, so that Friday when I saw co-workers bringing in covered dishes, a sheet cake, balloons and drinks I just smiled to myself.  They set it all up in the conference room, crock pots bubbling, the cold items in the little fridge in there.  They kept the conference room door closed, so as to "not bother anyone with the smells of the pulled pork".  Yeah, right...…  I totally didn't notice (wink wink).

My hours were 6 am to noon-ish, and so when they all started going into the conference room I snickered to myself.  One even came down to ask me why I wasn't coming up for some of the pot luck.  Nope - it would take more than that for me to go attend my surprise party!!

Nope, it was a football party for that weekend's game.  Not only did they not celebrate my birthday, I wasn't even included in the company wide pot luck.  And they had cake. 

I say celebrate with friends elsewhere or bring your own cake!  Don't leave important things like cake up to others.

Quote from: Crispycritter on June 22, 2018, 07:55:49 pm

I just have to tell you the story of my birthday celebration at an old job years ago.  I might have told this on the old forum - sorry if it is familiar I can't remember! 

That year my birthday fell on a Saturday, so that Friday when I saw co-workers bringing in covered dishes, a sheet cake, balloons and drinks I just smiled to myself.  They set it all up in the conference room, crock pots bubbling, the cold items in the little fridge in there.  They kept the conference room door closed, so as to "not bother anyone with the smells of the pulled pork".  Yeah, right...…  I totally didn't notice (wink wink).

My hours were 6 am to noon-ish, and so when they all started going into the conference room I snickered to myself.  One even came down to ask me why I wasn't coming up for some of the pot luck.  Nope - it would take more than that for me to go attend my surprise party!!

Nope, it was a football party for that weekend's game.  Not only did they not celebrate my birthday, I wasn't even included in the company wide pot luck.  And they had cake. 

I say celebrate with friends elsewhere or bring your own cake!  Don't leave important things like cake up to others.

Did the company usually do birthdays in that big of a way? It seems like it would take a lot of time out of the workweek if a big potluck with decorations was the norm for every birthday.

I don't understand the green bolded? It reads as though you chose not to participate, not that you were not included?

My company celebrates 5/10/15/20/25 etc. year anniversaries with the company with cupcakes or somethings and a gathering, but for birthdays it is just an email with "Happy Birthday to Bob on the 27th and Sally on the 30th!"